Archive for the ‘Focus On The Family’ Category

Our Plans For Big Government

May 7, 2010

As True Bible-Believing Conservatives and the only True God Honoring Republican Party, We stand against Socialism and Big Government— here are a few of our favorite Bible verses which back up our stances:

Ronald Reagan 18:22- Thou shalt not let Communists or Socialists take office: it is abomination.

Ronald Reagan 20:13- If the Socialists and Communists take over there will be Big Government and all will have committed an abomination: you shall surely be put to death. Your blood shall be upon them for they supporteth the muderous buisness of abortion which is a great evil. However, genocide, torture and the slaughter of our enemies both foreign and domestic are all okay in mine eyes for thou must protecteth thy Pure Doctines and my Truth by any means necessary.

These verses set the foundations for our Anti-Big Government platforms. They also set the foundations for our pro-Theocracy and Theonomist/Dominionist mindset. We Know that the big issues of our day are found in the Constitution which is why we plan on legislating these Constitutional values when we take back the White House for Jesus: our Pure Biblical notions of individual morality such as gay marriage, abortion and public prayer. All of these must be enforced on everyone else by our God-honoring Theocratic Calvinist Government. Remember a Big God Government equals happy and healthy families but only those God already predestined.

A Big God Government equals Absolute Sovereign protection for those of us God saw fit to Elect especially after God pours down His Sovereign Wrath upon all of our enemies out of His good pleasure of course. A Big God Government equals welfare for the rich as only we deserve money.  A Big God Government gives us the right to slaughter our enemies eventhough murder is a sin since We are Truly Elect we don’t have to live by the Law for We are Once Saved Always Saved no matter what. So We ask you this is a Big God Government for you? The answer is yes because We already tell you what to think so Obey Us or else.

Todd Friel Caught Supporting Lesbianism

February 16, 2010

We are morally outraged that Todd Friel would link to an article with this ad on it:

Doesn’t he know that American Girl supports feminism, abortion and lesbianism as suitable lifestyles for girls? How dare Todd Friel subtly and indirectly support these unbiblical alternative lifestyles instead of warning others about these dangerous ads on the article that he linked to. We are disappointed in Todd—we thought he was more biblical than that. Afterall, Todd has been on record as saying that the bible and not Jesus Himself is the whole point of Christianity. Following Jesus may lead to liberal ideas like communism and socialism so Todd rightfully exposits that faith should be in the bible and following the bible not Jesus. This is why we are so disappointed by Todd’s turn of events and why we recommend that he take one of our Bible-based courses  to freshen up on his discernmentalism skills.

Anti-Discernmentalists Plan Anti-Discernment Rally

February 11, 2010

We  are outraged by those working for equality and anti-hate which is why we must protest all this anti-discernmentalism going around. We have thankfully intercepted this evil Emergent video instructing Anti-Discernmentalists on how to protest our wise discernments. Warning this video promotes  Socialism and Communism:

Horrendous—think of the fragile minds of our children exposed to these unbiblical messages of love, brotherhood, justice, peace and unity. We are horrified beyond all words which is why all we have to say is WWRRD? We Know Reagan would not approve and if Regan would not approve Jesus certainly doesn’t approve—which is why we plan to keep on discernmentalizing these evil Emergents and Red-Letter Christians who are out to destroy our Pure Churches and Pure Doctrines.

Discernmentalist Bowl

February 8, 2010

Forget the Super Bowl this year and watch the Discernmentalist Bowl live and commercial free. This year team Reagan’s Raiders takes on team Raw Sewage in a competition of discernmentalism of epic proportions. See who wins the highly coveted Reaganite Discernmentalist Cup Trophy as well as other cool Reaganite prizes. Here is the roster of team Raw Sewage’s lineup:

From left to right: Team Captain Ken Silva head of Raw Sewage Ministries,  Cheerleader Ericha Badger of Take A Stand Ministries, Head Cheerleader Toddy Friel of Wretched Discernmentalism, Field Discernmentalist Ingrid Eva Braun of Laodiceans R’ Us and Lead Conspiracy Theorist Adolfa Howse of New World Order Weekend.

Representing team Reagan’s Raiders are God’s Only Inerrant Party and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia

This year’s Discernmentalist Bowl’s Half-Time Show will feature special entertainment—open air law and wrath witnessing by Quirk Cameron and Ray Comforts (Awesome):

And a special Absolute Truth Gospel  Concert of Hope for God’s Wrath to Pour Down Upon All of Our Enemies like Haiti:

A Spectacular Discernmentalist Event For The Whole Family!

John MacArthur On Psychology

January 25, 2010

John MacArthur demonstrating the power of Bible-based Counseling over and against the errors of the evil unbiblical Satanist lies of modern secular Psychology and Psychiatry.

John MacArthur on the evils of Psychology:

I think it’s no exaggeration to say that the Christian counseling scene today is in total shambles. I’m not talking about true Christian counseling–that which trusts the Bible and the power of the Holy Spirit to conform a person to Christ–that kind of counseling has been successfully changing sinners since the apostolic age. I’m talking about pseudo-counseling–the attempt to fix people with a blend of secular psychological theory and the Bible. But have integrationist counselors affected any real change among evangelical Christians? Are people really fixed?

It has been sad to see so many Christians seek counsel from Christian psychotherapists who fumble around with theories developed by Sigmund Freud, Carl Rogers and B. F. Skinner. Psychology and talk therapy are so bankrupt that many are abandoning them to embrace biological psychiatry. Psychotropic medicine is the new savior. Problems that were once blamed on dysfunctional families and Id/Superego conflict are now charged to chemical imbalances and disorders.

Yesterday’s psychology and today’s psychiatry share the same fatal errors–they reject the total depravity of man due to sin; they treat the symptoms instead of the heart; and they aim for change that is not true sanctification.

In spite of obvious failure, the notion prevails within the church that psychotherapy and psychiatry are more effective agents of change–particularly in dealing with the most difficult cases–than the Holy Spirit who sanctifies. But can psychotherapy or psychiatry possibly accomplish something the Holy Spirit cannot? Can an earthly therapist achieve more than a heavenly Comforter? Is behavior modification more helpful than sanctification? Of course not.

Paul Washer Caught Teaching Anti-Discernmentalist Doctrines

January 24, 2010

How dare he say that we can’t idolize John MacArthur and his Truth Wars. Pastor MacArthur is a True Man of God and the only True Absolute Truth teacher in all of the 2000 years of Church history. Is it possible to love the preaching of John Piper, Paul Washer, Tim Conway and still be lost? Yes but never John MacArthur as the Holy Spirit works through Pastor MacArthur so that every word uttered by him comes directly from the mind and mouth of God. John MacArthur’s Pure Doctrines will save all as any True Chrisian teaches.

Absolute Truth Rules:

  • Pastors must only use John MacArthur as a source and no one else unless it is Rush Limbaugh, Dr. Laura, or Glen Beck. (We used to allow focus on the family, but no longer do!)
  • Pastors or those who want to be pastor-like must quote Spurgeon and Calvin MORE than Jesus as Jesus tends to change people. God forbid that happens in OUR churches!
  • John MacArthur is the standard bearer of all Truth.
  • John MacArthur shall not be criticized.
  • John MacArthur is God’s Absolute Truth Voice and Warrior on Earth—a true defender of God’s Sovereign wrath.