Archive for the ‘Essential/Non-Essential’ Category

SBC under siege by Mothra Priestesses!

May 18, 2019

 

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Actual photo of this assault by Mothra and her Priests/Priestesses!

Not a day goes by when our Truth is not under attack—this time we’re under siege by Mothra. [H/T]: The moth-eaten SBC and the women who did it. “But I am like a moth to Ephraim, and like dry rot to the house of Judah.” (Hosea 5:12).

Oh the unholy horror of this affront on our Truth—I only pray that Mrs.  Jobson doesn’t catch wind of these secret feminist doctrines or she might rebel against my divinely mandated authority again. I’ve forced Mrs. Jobson to wear a necklace made out of mothballs just in case—sure it smells funny but I told her: “listen woman this is for your own good and it helps protect the purity of our Truth.” Anyways here’s how to spot these secret feminist Mothra priestesses:

They are feminists—don’t let them tell you otherwise. Also we hear they’re not too fond of the smell of mothballs but are attracted to altar flowers. (See this link for proof).

This is the new crop of what I called Christian secret feminists- but they aren’t as secret as they were in 2012. They live a feminist life inside of Christianity but call it ministry. They are openly rebelling now.

One woman who has much to answer for about this new role is Beth Moore. She was the one who broke new ground in the Southern Baptist Convention, a most conservative denomination, in how far a woman could go in attaining celebrity status, living for her career and not for her home, and promoting gender role reversals.

She showed us how to be the main and sustained breadwinner of the family. She showed us that she could preach in a church and teach anyone in the world, uncensured. Mrs Moore, while speaking conservative values cloaked in all the right Christianese, has lived a very feminist life. (We suspect this is because of their super secret psychic cloaking powers).

We only know this because of using our Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology or SKIRT—also they are most likely to predict an oncoming Mothra attack as per our findings. We also have reason to suspect these feminist Mothra priestesses of secret Catholic leanings:

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Absolute Proof. We discovered this too while using our Bible-based SKIRT (Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology).

So be warned and beware—thankfully you have lone Discernmentalists in the wilderness like us to warn you of all these threats on our Truth. At this very moment we’re working on Mothra-sized mothballs—to surround our Holy Convention and churches—and prevent these feminist Mothra priestesses unleashing even more Mothra attacks on our churches and Truth.

Praise Our Angry God: Easter Worshippers Aren’t TRUE CHRISTIANS!

April 22, 2019

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Thank our Angry God and his  commendable hatred for continually pouring down His satisfied wrath (that He already poured down on Jesus in our place) upon our enemies against our war on Truth Truth War. We most mightily thank humble Discermentalist ministries in divisionism like ‘s for bringing our Clear Teachings to all who should bow down to us and our Pure Doctrines: “The worst part about this tragedy is that the vast majority of these victims are likely facing eternal judgment in hell where they were pre-damned to right now. The last thing they need is affirmation of their idolatrous system of worship.”

We who are True Bible-Believing Sola-Scripturist Conservatives affirm what the Westminster Confession not the Bible says: “There is no other head of the Church but the Lord Jesus Christ; nor can the Pope of Rome, in any sense, be head thereof; but is that Antichrist, that man of sin, and son of perdition, that exalts himself, in the Church, against Christ and all that is called God.”—against all man-made unbiblical doctrines and traditions. For as Pope Pyro I aka John MacArthur (PBUH) not the Bible says:

In today’s spirit of ecumenism, many evangelicals have called for the Protestant Church to lay aside its differences with Rome and pursue unity with the Catholic Church. Is that possible? Is Roman Catholicism simply another facet of the body of Christ that should be brought into union with its Protestant counterpart? Is Roman Catholicism simply another Christian denomination?

While there are many errors in the teaching of the Catholic Church (for example its belief in the transubstantiation of the communion wafer and its view of Mary), two rise to the forefront and call for special attention: its denial of the doctrine of sola Scriptura and its denial of the biblical teaching on justification. To put it simply, because the Roman Catholic Church has refused to submit itself to the authority of God’s Word and to embrace the gospel of justification taught in Scripture, it has set itself apart from the true body of Christ. It is a false and deceptive form of Christianity.

We  are also thankful for our angry Sovereign God sending fire to destroy perverted pagan places of worship that pervert our Pure Gospel. We pray that His gracious loving wrath might smite more grace-hating man-loving reprobates hip and thigh. Which is why we must take a stand against all those who dare take a stand against us:

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Besides that Lutherans aren’t Calvinistic enough  to be True Christians and as we all know because Saint Charles Spurgeon (PBUH) not the Bible told us so: “Calvinism (not Jesus) is the Gospel!” Our Research Robot Monkeys noted that Luther observed Easter against our clear teachings of its pagan catholic origins—but enough about Easter lets get back to TRUE BIBLE DOCTRINES like our American Gospel of CAPITALIISM.

Spurgeon Exposed As A Young Restless & Reformed Type Sinner

September 12, 2011

We are so tired of these Young Restless & Reformed type heathens trying to justify their fleshly desires and rebellious nature. How dare they flaunt their tattoos, smoke tobacco, drink one sip of an alcoholic beverage or even swish with an alcoholic mouthwash! Don’t they know that all of these things are a sin—how dare they disrespect our glorious Elder John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) and his clear teachings of our Pure Biblical Doctrines.

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) is clearly head and shoulders above any of these heretical YRR apostates as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) is the only True Living Teacher of God’s Word in history. Never-mind the fact that the bible never mentions tobacco or that the bible never mentions drinking in itself is a sin—(hect even Jesus drank wine)—if our glorious Elder (P. B. U. H.) says these things are a sin then that must be the Absolute Biblical Truth.

I mean how can one  use sinful activities to the glory of God—sheer blasphemy—just listen to this hideous description of your typical Young Restless & Reformed type sinner:

“Last Sunday evening, at the Metropolitan Tabernacle, the deservedly popular, unquestionably benevolent, and eminently shrewd Mr. Spurgeon was preaching a sermon on the sinfulness of little sins—a somewhat favourite topic among Nonconformist clergymen, and on which, under the title of ‘The Little Foxes,’ some curious lay-sermons have been written by Mrs. Harriet Beecher-Stowe.
“The gist of Mr. Spurgeon’s discourse was that habitual indulgence in little sins leads to the commission of great ones—a position enforced by one of the most famous English divines in the illustration of the ‘boy who plays with the devil’s rattles.’
“At the close of his useful sermon the minister introduced an American clergyman who, he said, was anxious to address a few words to the congregation. This reverend gentleman ‘improved the opportunity’ by inveighing fiercely against the sin of smoking tobacco, especially in the form of cigars, and told his hearers how he had struggled and fought against the pernicious habit, and how at last, by the blessing and with the assistance of Providence, he had conquered his addiction to the weed.
“Then uprose Mr. Spurgeon and, with quiet humour, remarked that he would not allow the congregation to separate without telling them that he did not consider smoking to be a sin, and that, by the grace of God, he hoped to enjoy a good cigar before going to bed that night.
“Hypercriticism should discern no irreverence in the conclusion of those remarks. We should be thankful for all things; and in observing that he hoped to enjoy a cigar through the Divine grace, he was but echoing the natural piety of Charles Lamb, who asked why we should not say grace before going out for a walk in the fields as well as before and after meat. Dr. Johnson said grace before he began the ‘Rambler’; and if Mr. Spurgeon be a smoker, he only adds another and most excellent name to the long catalogue of distinguished English divines of the Established and the Dissenting Churches who have solaced themselves with that Indian weed.”2

The Poison Of Anti-Calvinism

August 29, 2011

Anyone who dares to offer any sort of critique of any of the 5 points of Dortian Calvinism is a bigot and a lost deluded ignorant individual. Not only that but to offer up any kind of logical and sound Biblical critique of any of the Doctrines of Dort is to go against God and His Grace. Arminian Semi-Pelagians, Romanists, Papists, Barthians, Emergents and any other Anti-Calvinists belong to the Synagogues of Satan and are part of the Whore of Babylon that is out to destroy the Pure Gospel and God’s Absolute Truth. Anti-Calvinism is a poisonous hate-filled cancer spreading like gangrene by Spiritual Terrorists within and outside of the church.

Also anyone who dares to attack any aspect of Calvinism is unReformed, lacks any True understanding of the Bible and slanders the Reformation. This is why Arminian heretics are not only Semi-Pelagians but also closet Mary-Worshipping Papists. Arminianism and Anti-Calvinism are the roads straight back to the Bondage of Rome because Calvinism not Jesus Christ is the Pure Gospel.

The reason that I bring this up is because of my exposure to the inane nature of so much of the popular anti-Calvinism found in the writings of ignorant heretics like Geisler, Hunt, Vance, and Bryson (repeated without the slightest bit of concern by Coate) and that is the contrast between the biblically-based presentations of Reformed writers and our concern for accuracy in even representing those who disagree with us (and who attack us personally) and the methodology of “anything goes as long as it is opposed to Calvinism” of the other side.

Anti-Calvinists are the most ignorant, arrogant, hateful and disgusting people in the world. All Anti-Calvinists should be locked up for their criminal behavior. I thank God and His Absolute Sovereign Wrath that all Anti-Calvinists were predestined to be tortured for all eternity unless they are able to repent—so  Anti-Calvinists of the world—REPENT—and remember when we tell you that God hates all of youwe are only speaking the TRUTH in Love.

MacArthurites Accuse Jesus Of Sinning

August 18, 2011

After John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) accuses ‘the so-called “young, restless, and Reformed” (YRR) crowd‘ of sinning by drinking alcohol—several MacArthurites cast stones at Jesus for drinking wine. Using John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)’s Discernmentalist illogic MacArthur’s most ardent and most stringent supporters aka the MacArthurites accentuate that anyone who drinks one sip of alcohol is a drunkard—be it beer, hard liquor, wine or even mouthwash. With one accusatory jolt one MacArthurite exclaims: “…it only takes one sip of your legal wine to become a drunk, addicted to the stuff.” The same said MacArthurite in the same comment compares anyone who dares to imbibe alcohol with child abusers. Therefore MacArthurites believe that Jesus was/is a sinner.

New Quick And Painless Way

June 27, 2011

To Remove Jesus From Your Heart:

Have you ever asked Jesus into your heart? What about accepting Jesus as the Lord and Savior of your life? Or receiving Jesus to fill your God-shaped hole? Is Jesus more important to you than any other religious leader? If you answered yes to any of the following—congratulations you’re not even a Real and True Christian and most likely worship Satan, the Pope or Mary as your dark lord and master a False Convert.

If you have found that you were rated a False Convert—never fear Todd Friel with Brannon Howse’s help have introduced a new quick and pain-free way to reverse your status and make sure that you become a True Convert this time around. Introducing the new surgical procedure to surgically remove Jesus from False Converts’ hearts: Operation JesuScopic Surgery! Why let Jesus fool around in your heart when you can have your heart filled with the Puritan Hard Drive (PHD)—now with twice the amount of John Owen’s fatalistic arrogance!

Fanatic for Jesus calls John MacArthur’s Jesus: “New Age.”

May 20, 2011

“All those who truly love Christ and care about the truth have a solemn duty to defend the truth by exposing and opposing these lies that masquerade as truth. If we fail in that duty because of indifference, apathy, or a craving for the approval of men, we are no less guilty than those who actively spread the lies.”

~John MacArthur, Excerpt from Unholy Trinity

Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus is on record as proclaiming that the Premillennial Dispensationalist’s Christ is a “New Age” Christ:

Even-though as we all know John MacArthur the Ways of the Master himself (P. B. U. H.) believes in Premillennial Dispensationalism and the Rapture. In fact John MacArthur has stated with Absolute Certitude that “Every Self-Respecting Calvinist is a Premillennial Dispensationalist Rapture Believer” so obviously Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus isn’t really a Fanatic for the True Jesus of the Bible: John MacArthur’s Jesus. Repent Donna Martin aka Fanatic For Jesus before it’s too late—for the End is nigh—don’t be a fool and get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathen reprobates and Postmodern Unbelievers…believe in Premillennial Dispensationalism and the Rapture or Else! By the way it’s not too late to stock up on our fine and quality John MacArthur approved hand-crafted RaptureHatches before the Rapture occurs this Saturday.

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) Will Get You Rapture Ready For Saturday!

May 19, 2011

John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) unlike Brian McLaren and his Emerging Babylonian hordes never falls prey to the winds of ear-tickling doctrines. This is because Saint John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) keeps his doctrines so Purer than anyone else’s that he can never fail at being the True Truth Warrior of Absolute Biblical Truth that he Truly is. Take the Pure Biblical Doctrine of the Rapture for instance—John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has said: “It’s become kind of popular today, in the last two or three years, to believe in the rapture occurring at the end of the tribulation. There has been three positions, historically, “pre-trib,” “mid-trib,” and “post-trib.” What that means is the rapture occurs at the end of the tribulation: “post-tribulation;” the middle of the tribulation: “mid-tribulation;” the beginning of the tribulation: “pre-tribulation.” Now if you wanted to catalog me I would have to claim to be a “pre-tribulationist.” I believe the Church will be taken out before the tribulation.

Of course because Truth Matters, we all know that the Rapture is Pure Biblical Teaching and not a man-made invention by a deluded Scottish teenager unlike Brian McLaren’s heretical notion that the Kingdom of God is present in the world and within us. Phil Johnson and the Pyromaniacs agree as John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has also said after being questioned about his Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture beliefs:

Questioner: I am concern about Dispensationalism, I have been listening to Charles Swindoll, yourself and Dave Hawking, I really enjoy their ministry. And they all preach the pre-tribulation rapture, and I can buy that. I think it’s great. And then I hear some other respected men in the Lord say, “Well that is a dispensational point of view,” and they imply that that is something that has taken place within the last hundred years or so within the church. I just like to hear a little from you.

John MacArthur’s Answer: You see, that is just a label that they throw. What do you mean a dispensational point of view? The word dispensation is a NT word, Paul said “It was committed unto him the dispensation of the grace of God, dispensation of the mysteries.” It simply means a stewardship, it’s simply a term, that’s all. This is the accusation over and over again that Dispensationalism popped up with J. N. Darby, and C. I. Scofield, and all of that? But we are not working our way through a system, but rather attempting to interpret scripture on its own merit.

Ok, you have some basic things to deal with. Dispensationalism, by the way, is simply a title for theology that recognizes a literal nation Israel to be restored in the future. And recognizes a literal kingdom, and a literal tribulation, and a literal return, and a literal rapture, and that is dispensational. The other perspective is what’s called non-dispensational or covenant theology, which has no place for Israel, no kingdom in the future, and spiritualizes everything rather than making it literal.

Now, what you have to do is to go back to some very basic things. Dispensation simply means that God manages things in a certain way at a certain time. Everybody is a dispensationalist, everybody. I don’t care who they are in theology, they’re dispensational.

Elsewhere John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has defined Every Self-Respecting Calvinist as a Premillennial Dispensationalist—in other words all True Christians are Premillenial Dispensationalist Rapture believers like John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) and Harold Camping. We hope this helps get you Rapture Ready for the Rapture and Judgement Day this Saturday—oh and don’t forget to buy one of our handy dandy RaptureHatches to be prepared… so  don’t get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathens… be Rapture Ready with our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.).

Rick Warren and Islamists’ Secret Death Star Plans Exposed

May 18, 2011

“We are currently prototyping and testing our global P.E.A.C.E. plan.”—Rick Warren, USA Today

Rick Warren seen secretly plotting with Islamists to inact the terror of his New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Plan across the universe. Part of Rick Warren’s plan is to build a fully operational Death Star with the aid of Islamists.  Warren expects the Death Star to be fully operational by 2013—Warren’s Death Star will force Christians to support his New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Plan or so Discernmentalist Researchmentalist experts say. “Rick Warren Hits Home Run with Announcement of Global Peace Plan to Battle the Giants of Our World.” —Assist News Agency

Warren’s Death Star, which is believed to have the capacity to neutralize the minds of an entire planet, was adopted from designs stolen from George Lucas’ studios and used by Vladimir Putin in his successful takeover of Russia in the late 1900s. It was re-stolen by Rick Warren and in the works using the gargantuan profits made by both Halliburton and Islamists in the Iraq War, now referred to as ‘Liberating Iraq’s Oil.’

Brannon Howse says of Rick Warren’s Global Peace Plan:

Certainly the world is all about solving its problems without the God of the Bible. Yet many professing Christians are rushing to remedy the world’s troubles in ways that are without the support of Scripture, some even in contradiction to what the Scriptures teach. Rick Warren’s global P.E.A.C.E. plan is one of many programs and teachings that, for the most part, cannot be reconciled with God’s prophetic Word. It is Warren’s “50-year plan” to cure global issues such as “pandemic diseases, extreme poverty, illiteracy, corruption, global warming, [and] spiritual emptiness” (see http://www.thebereancall.org). He claims that his social-works agenda developed from his reading of the Gospels–that Jesus gave him the model that was the antidote to the five biggest problems on the planet (see http://www.thebereancall.org). Warren subsequently expanded that model from an exclusive endeavor of Christianity to one requiring the support of all religions.

Rick Warren’s “ill-curing” ecumenical agenda is illogical as well as unbiblical. How can his game plan for remedying “spiritual emptiness” work with those who promote a false spirituality?   We agree which is why there are a number of pastors, ministries and authors throughout the world who are opposing Rick Warren, including Dr. John MacArthur, who exposed Warren in a chapter in his book called Fool’s Gold by Dr. John McArthur. We all must take a stand against Rick Warren‘s secret New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Death Star Plans.

Easter Is Satanic?

April 9, 2011

It is that time of year again—the time of year that we must tell everyone else why they’re wrong for celebrating Easter. We loathe the very idea of Easter not because of  the very idea of the Easter Bunny but because celebrating the death and Resurrection of our Lord and Savior in the church is blasphemous and idolatrous. I mean why celebrate a biblically based holiday when you can do the complete opposite like celebrating Reformation Day, Thanksgiving and Calvin’s 500th birthday in churches.

Besides Easter is a pagan Catholic Satanist invention:

The Post Reformation pastors and theologians of the day, following the Reformers, abolished Easter, among other things. In June 1647, England Parliament, headed by the Puritans at Westminster, passed legislation abolishing Christmas and other holidays: “Forasmuch as the feast of the nativity of Christ, Easter, Whitsuntide, and other festivals, commonly called holy-days, have been heretofore superstitiously used and observed; be it ordained, that the said feasts, and all other festivals, commonly called holy-days, be no longer observed as festivals; any law, statute, custom, constitution, or canon, to the contrary in anywise not withstanding.” (Daniel Neal, The History of the Puritans (London, 1837; rpt. Minneapolis: Klock , p. 45).

The Puritans “proposed a stricter observance of Sundays, the Lord’s Day, along with banning the immoral celebration of Christmas — as well as Easter, Whitsun and saints’ days.” (Patino, Marta, The Puritan Ban on Christmas). The reason the puritans denied the celebration of any holy days was a biblical foundation to deny the “dressing up” of any other day than what God had specifically prescribed in Lord’s Day worship. “Holy days’ have no such prescription — there is no Scriptural command, approved example, or good and necessary inference, which warrants tying specific acts of redemption to ‘holy’ days of our own choosing.” (Chris Coldwell, The Religious Observance of Christmas and ‘Holy Days’ in American Presbyterianism) (I would encourage the reader to read the entire article that Coldwell has at that link which covers not only Easter, but other holidays.)

In “The Quest for Purity: Dynamics of Puritan Movements” by Walter E. a Van Beek, he states, “Because Easter invariably fell on a Sunday, this was a problem for Puritan preachers who were consistent with their repudiation of of the traditional calendar. The usual solution was to preach a sermon that had no direct connection with Easter.” (Page 77.) How would a congregation today take a non-Easter sermon on Easter Sunday? What would your reaction be, reader?