Archive for the ‘Dr. Pepper’ Category

Eric Barger rocks another Church

September 24, 2019

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“What better way is there to see a society abandon historical truths than to allow them to be revised, misshaped or omitted from school textbooks? Mark my words, our Founders lofty and spiritually inspired ideals are slowly fading from view at the hands of those who publicly boast in their pledge to do damage to the centuries-old goal and privilege of experiencing Christian freedom, standards and evangelism in our land.

Make no mistake; it is NO accident that the curriculum is mum on who we really are as a nation. With the spirit of humanist educator John Dewey leading from his grave, the secularists have fought hard to accomplish their goal of “Christianity free” textbooks. At very least they desire to play down religion and do injustice to the historical significance of the faith of our Founders.”—Eric Barger

Experienced ministers know how the scenario goes. A relatively new member who has jumped into congregational life wants to share some “concerns” he has about the church.

At the appointed time, the pastor discovers this is really a test — with an agenda. Questions that did not originate with the questioner start to flow.

Questions like: “Do you believe in a literal hell, yes or no?” “Is that a Brian McLaren book on your shelf?”

“Why did you quote Nouwen and Merton last Sunday without telling the church they are dangerous?” “Have you attended a conference at which Leonard Sweet or Richard Foster spoke?”

“The word ‘missional’ was in the church newsletter this week; don’t you check for things like that?” “Are you aware that in the young adults class last Sunday, the teacher talked about social justice instead of the Gospel?”

“Why don’t you preach against evolution?” “Are you aware of Rick Warren’s universalist leanings?”—[H/T]: Some Heretical Blog that we all must take a stand against for questioning the purity of our doctrines.

 

 

Phoenix Considers ‘Sin Tax’ On Young, Restless & Reformed Churches

April 18, 2019

(From the front-lines of the Truth War)- Frequenters of Phoenix strip clubs aka Young, Restless & Reformed Church-goers might be paying a little more than usual in the future. That’s because of a potential “sin tax,” first proposed to the city government by John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) on Tuesday. The tax would be imposed on establishments including strip club, tattoo parlors, and escort services, and other places that the Young, Restless & Reformed Movement (YRR) frequent to hold their “church” services reported Phil Johnson of Hugh Jass News.

Our Research Robot Monkeys reached YRR Guru Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church for comment on this proposal—he said: “Rats….garbled language….*censored for filthy language*….now I may not be able to continue practicing my Pornographic Divination.”

Typical YRR heathen response: “Smoking and drinking are so much cooler than obeying the rules against such in the bible given to us by the Sovereign decrees of our God of wrath. Besides Spurgeon was a Christian hedonist too so he would be cool with us smoking doobies; drinking hooch and using locker room talk to prove how much cooler than our Ruling Elders and more countercultural than carnal Pagan we are.” Nonsense. That’s why we must be ever discernmentalizing and concernmentalizing. The Truth War still rages on.

Key Discernmentalists Push Scientology Agenda

August 9, 2011

Todd Friel joins Brannon Howse and John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) in pushing the Scientology Agenda

Yes that’s right and remember in the words of the famous Scientologist Discernmentalist Tom Cruise: “Psychiatrists and psycologists are worthless and only out to take your money and have an easy job. Psycology used to be called “the study of the soul” but now its not. Only Scientology God is the answer for anyones emotional, mental problems because it comes from the soul. Secular psycology wont help.“—(MaharlikaAWA 4 days ago).

I mean would you really want to ‘promote a worldview that provides a crutch for people by making them be dependent on drugs with lots of side effects‘… I mean really? We didn’t think so either—after all even Psychologists admit that Secular Psychology and Psychiatry can’t cure anyone:

So there you go Secular Psychology never helped anyone—only devoting all of our energies in devotion to God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred towards non-hyper-Calvinists will anyone be saved, cured, healed, etc. While you’re at it please join us in our Absolute Truth War against Secular Medical Science aka Gnosticism.  And remember:

The Emergent Church Agenda Exposed

April 20, 2011

New evil Emergent plot uncovered: “Drink Dr. Pepper Cherry believe Love Wins!” We are quite astounded at the lengths these Purpose-Driven Seeker-Sensitive Emergent types will go to spread their evil Universalist message. We are angered that these Emergents dare to leave their Emergent Villages and treat the world as their Cohorts. How dare they chant their Contemplative chants on our airwaves… Let alone in public! Can’t they keep their mystical Hindu Voodoo to themselves and go back to their Emergent Villages and smoke one of Shaine Claiborne’s doobies? But no… they’ve got to go and ruin everything as usual with their Subliminal Contemplative Centering Messages! Actual quote from Rob Bell: “Hahaha…if I use the same colors on the book cover of Love Wins as Dr. Pepper Cherry, people will have to believe my Universalist message that Love Wins.” Ken Silva who isn’t half the Discernmentalist that we are—failed to catch this. Thankfully though we have warned you at just how crafty the Emergent Church’s secret Agenda is!