Archive for the ‘Doug Pagitt’ Category

Flaming Calvinists?

January 9, 2011

So I had some of our Research Robot Monkeys do some researchmentalism on a supposedly Christian Forum for a  new Discernmentalist article against the many heresies of the Emergent Church when they came across a character who had the title of “Flaming Calvinist:”

Notice there are many errors here concerning this arunma fellow:

  1. How can there be any “flaming Calvinists” that is a contradiction of terms. One can’t be simultaneously saved and a homosexual at the same time—Brian McLaren and the Emergent Church teaches that it’s ok to be gay and that gay Christians are saved. The Bible however is Absolutely Clear that all homosexuality (sodomy) is an unbiblical abomination and an unforgivable sin as clearly taught by Jesus and the Apostles in the Bible. To paraphrase my colleague Dr. I. Todyaso: One thing we do not need is Gay Calvinists out there perverting the Doctrines of Grace. How dare this so called character suggest he can be gay and a Bible-Believing Calvinist at the same time that’s about as oxymoronic as saying one is a Christian and an  Arminian at the same time! (Just ask Sharon about that!) The next thing you know Calvinists will be ordaining homosexuals….blasphemy!
  2. The only flaming that Bible-Believing Christians need is to roast heretics alive over a stake whether it be in reality or cyber-reality as John Knox’s clear teachings teach us
  3. How can anyone hold to the Biblical Doctrines of Grace and yet pledge allegiance to the Democratic Party? The two are antithetical as Democrats are anti-Christian. One can never vote Democrat as a True Bible-Believing Calvinist as Democrats reject the Bible and accept:  welfare queens,  Islamofascism, atheism, homosexuality, abortion and the rest of the sins that we take a stand against.
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Emergents Deconstruct ODMafia’s New Ally

January 7, 2011

After chanting Contemplative babbling for a few minutes—those evil Emergents have deconstructed the site of our newest ally in John MacArthur’s Truth Wars©®™. Their New Age Eastern Mystical voodoo seems to have deconstructed Holywrathministriesinc’s website to the point of deconstructing it all the way off of the Internet. We are quite disappointed as we were looking forward to working with “holywrath.wordpress.com is no longer available” in our humble discernmentalist ministry. The ODMafia and the GOIP combined with”holywrath.wordpress.com is no longer available” would have been a triple combo threat in spreading the True Gospel of  God’s Holy Absolute Sovereign Wrath against all those who disagree with us like Postmodern infidels and refuse to bow down before our Pure Doctrines. What a shame…What a shame!

Your Typical Worldly Seeker-Sensitive Emergent Type Worship Service

May 17, 2010

 

      

A video of a typical Worldly Seeker-Sensitive Emergent Type Worship Service:

An Emergent believer on this video:

love THIS vid! it’s almost from the same angle that I was ;)) so I can re-live this outer world experience over and over again!! I was too awed to record it, I just stayed there motionless and gobsmacked the whole song, almost crying and with goosebumps all over my body.. It really felt I could see his soul.. I don’t know if it was the lighting, but the brightness around him looked like an aura, something celestial.. I felt whole.
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Thankfully you have us to set you straight and to warn you about these evil mystic apostate demon spawns from hell. And remember you only need the Holy Inerrant Bible apart from  it’s Christ-Centeredness/Christ-Centered teachings to be whole!

Our Non Man-Centered Gospel

May 12, 2010

      

We are dissappointed about the state of the American Church today for there are too many False Converts being produced in our churches today.  Millions have been turning away from the Pure Gospel of John MacArthur’s Truth Wars™ to a sissified watered-down false gospel. We are Angered at the American Church’s slide into setting  the stage for the growing  numbers of False Converts by the unbiblical nature of the modern, man-centered gospel American preachers like Joel Osteen, Brian McLaren and Doug Pagitt preach.

We hope that America repents and turns back to our non man-centered Gospel—the Pure Gospel of John MacArthur’s Truth Wars™. We only Expect you to bow down to a statue of Calvin rejoicing in the burning of Servetus at the stake. We also Expect you to pray in the direction of Geneva 7 times a day. Pray for America to become a Theocratic nation like God preordained it to be. Also We Expect you to preserve, defend and protect the Sovereign Legacy of Final President Ronald Reagan.

There is nothing man-centered about our Gospel. It is simply what everyone needs in order to be Truly Elected unto Salvation: the Simple and Pure Gospel of John MacArthur’s Truth Wars™.

Contemplative Prayer Destroying America And The Church

November 28, 2009

Evil Emergents believe in Contemplative Prayer. Contemplative  Prayer was invented by Hindus and Papists. Romanists/Papists, Hindus and Muslims are of the devil and are members of the Synagogues of Satan. Barak Obama is a Muslim and the  political anti-Christ. Evil Emergents voted for Obama therefore Contemplative Prayer is destroying America and the Church:

Our excellent discernmentalist and researchmentalist skills which God gifted us with Himself have led  us to conclude these Absolute Truth facts—so if you are anything like us (Elect of God, regenerate, American, Ultra Right Wing Conservative Fundamentalist Calvinist Republicans, warmongers, capitalist materialists, non-Marxists, Saved, inerrant, etc.),  you should avoid Contemplative Prayer like the plague. And if you are an Evil Emergent then all we have to say to you is Repent that is if God lets you repent—because We Know with Absolute Certainty that you Emergents are of the non-Elect, unregenerate, anti-American, Arminian, Neo-Marxist, socialist, communist, anti-capitalists, reprobated and unsaved—because of your impure doctrines. Afterall, God only listens to Imprecatory Prayers   which we are praying against  you Emergents right now—and the only meditation one needs is on the Holy Inerrant Infallible Word Of God—the King James Bible AV1611.