Archive for the ‘Discernmentalist illogic’ Category

Women are evil!

June 3, 2019

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Just a friendly reminder from a random internet comment—we suspect this is Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer in disguise after accidently revealing himself one time against the Discernmentalist code of keeping our identities secret….also we would like to say there have been many Hoofendorfers since then not just our original Party meme-ber…:

Tuesday 15 June

By CRIZZ2001
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Women are all evil and they have no morals at all, they are sent here to weaken man and destroy him of every things that is by god is given to him. IT WAS NOT ADAM WHO PERSUADED EVE TO BITE THE APPLE?? NEVER TRUST A WOMEN WHITE OR BLACK!!!!!

http://www.asylum.com/2010/06/14/when-women-cheat-what-4-real-guys-learned-from-infidelity/?icid=main|main|dl4|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.asylum.com%2F2010%2F06%2F14%2Fwhen-women-cheat-what-4-real-guys-learned-from-infidelity%2F

New Apostate Airline Found

May 22, 2019

 

Behold the hideous heresies in all their unreformed synergistic horrors!! Just a word of caution you have been warned. Our Research Robot Monkeys are always on the look out for all things apostate and heretical including airlines—so listen to our warnings or else be caught in the winds of false doctrines. This has been another PSA from the Online Discernmentalist Mafia. Help us in our Truth War to bring the Pure Doctrines of the Protestant Reformation to the Lutherans as they are all unsaved heretics and apostates. In fact Luther who began the Protestant Reformation wasn’t Protestant at all.

Excelsior,

The ODMafia crew

Ray Comfort (Awesome) warns Bibliophiles the same as Pedophiles

May 18, 2019

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Evidence of Bibliophilia: Here a Book assaults an un-expectant innocent young lady.

Ray Comfort (Awesome) another defender of our Mighty Truth especially against the atheist hordes—deposited nuggets of Comfort (Awesome) while working with us on our sin-free Arthur episode. Ray (Awesome) Hell’s Best Kept Secret told us that Bibliophiles are the same as pedophiles: “Bibliophile noun a cross between a paedophile and the Bible.” Ray Comfort (Awesome) also gave us this advice on what to look out for in banning sinners from commenting on our Blogs: “If you call any other Christian on this page a ‘bibliophile’ I will ban you.” Ray (Awesome) also went on to state that: “I thought it was just another atheist insult, a cross between pedophile and Bible. My sincere apologies. Still learning. Best wishes.”

Ray (Awesome) we believed you have slipped in apologizing to that atheist as Discernmentalists we should never apologize for speaking our the Truth. If anything that atheist should apologize to you for insulting your intelligence—we know bibliophiles are the same as pedophiles. We have shocking evidence that bibliophiles are assaulting children with books—{click link: [HERE] (Warning Graphic Imagery)}. We believe this lapse in self-righteousness is due to the Eastern Mysticism we caught him practicing when he recited Bible verses in a Triadic liturgical mantra against our Clear Teachings against such.

On a related note—Mrs. Jobson has gotten use to the smell of her mothball necklace that protects her from the feminist attacks of Mothra priestesses. She gave a few to our children and really recommends mothballs for protection against bibliophiles as they’ve stopped the attacks from atheist bibliophiles like Disney molesting our kids with strange books.

SBC under siege by Mothra Priestesses!

May 18, 2019

 

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Actual photo of this assault by Mothra and her Priests/Priestesses!

Not a day goes by when our Truth is not under attack—this time we’re under siege by Mothra. [H/T]: The moth-eaten SBC and the women who did it. “But I am like a moth to Ephraim, and like dry rot to the house of Judah.” (Hosea 5:12).

Oh the unholy horror of this affront on our Truth—I only pray that Mrs.  Jobson doesn’t catch wind of these secret feminist doctrines or she might rebel against my divinely mandated authority again. I’ve forced Mrs. Jobson to wear a necklace made out of mothballs just in case—sure it smells funny but I told her: “listen woman this is for your own good and it helps protect the purity of our Truth.” Anyways here’s how to spot these secret feminist Mothra priestesses:

They are feminists—don’t let them tell you otherwise. Also we hear they’re not too fond of the smell of mothballs but are attracted to altar flowers. (See this link for proof).

This is the new crop of what I called Christian secret feminists- but they aren’t as secret as they were in 2012. They live a feminist life inside of Christianity but call it ministry. They are openly rebelling now.

One woman who has much to answer for about this new role is Beth Moore. She was the one who broke new ground in the Southern Baptist Convention, a most conservative denomination, in how far a woman could go in attaining celebrity status, living for her career and not for her home, and promoting gender role reversals.

She showed us how to be the main and sustained breadwinner of the family. She showed us that she could preach in a church and teach anyone in the world, uncensured. Mrs Moore, while speaking conservative values cloaked in all the right Christianese, has lived a very feminist life. (We suspect this is because of their super secret psychic cloaking powers).

We only know this because of using our Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology or SKIRT—also they are most likely to predict an oncoming Mothra attack as per our findings. We also have reason to suspect these feminist Mothra priestesses of secret Catholic leanings:

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Absolute Proof. We discovered this too while using our Bible-based SKIRT (Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology).

So be warned and beware—thankfully you have lone Discernmentalists in the wilderness like us to warn you of all these threats on our Truth. At this very moment we’re working on Mothra-sized mothballs—to surround our Holy Convention and churches—and prevent these feminist Mothra priestesses unleashing even more Mothra attacks on our churches and Truth.

An Update on an Update: We’re still under attack!!! by gay cartoon rats!!

May 17, 2019

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Extra Freaking Out Discernmentalist News: I would have written this on my original article but I didn’t want Mrs. Jobson to get suspicious again that I had fallen away and was looking up ghey furry porn sites. This is why I had to write a new article to bring you this important update and so that I didn’t have to look at the unholy horror of that sinful pic again. We also needed to test out Dr. I. Todyaso’s Fictional Gay Character Eraser so we are glad that we can use a *censored* photo this time as I was concerned my previous article with the uncensored pic was accidently turning our readers ghey by sight osmosis from all it’s gaydiation rays being emitted.

Anyways this is Update #4 I think: You know our fight in the Truth War against fictional gay cartoon rats is really heating up when Activist Mommy joins in. Quote:

It’s becoming nearly impossible to trust any children’s entertainment these days, with the pervasive themes of gender confusion and alternative sexual lifestyles wherever you look. It’s become vogue to set your show apart with the introduction of a gay character or gay kiss…even on shows for very young children.

This is not the first time the show Arthur has pushed the LGBT agenda.  In 2005, the show aired an episode called, “Postcards from Buster,” in which the titular character visits Vermont to learn about the maple syrup production process.  While he is there, he meets a few children who have lesbian moms. The word “lesbian” is not used in the episode just like the word “gay” is not used in the wedding episode.  There is not any actual explanation in either episode, just extremely suggestive imagery that is impossible to misinterpret.

Flying just low enough under the radar that most parents won’t find it worth standing up against, but evident enough to leave an impression on children.

Make no mistake, this is not an innocent attempt to promote love and acceptance.  This is blatant indoctrination aimed to break down our children’s developing moral foundations.

We as Christians can fight this assault on our children’s minds…

Thankfully you have Important ministries like ours to warn you of the Clear and present dangers of fictional gay characters like cartoon rats that will surely turn kids ghey instead of focusing on real issues like child abuse rampart in our churches. Why if we don’t continue to take a stand against fictional gay cartoon rats—real rats might get ideas and choose to be gay.

Update # 5: Sadly in having to quote from Activist Mommy’s article I accidently caught a glimpse of the Holy horror of the uncensored version of that sinful pic again while Mrs. Jobson was in the room and I’ve been banished to sleep on the couch in my study. (Editors’ Note: We’re horrified that Activist Mommy didn’t have the decency to release a censored version of that unholy pic with all it’s abominable filth like Don’s second article does).

Update # 6: Thankfully Mrs. Jobson agreed to a session of MacArthurite approved Bible-based counseling. Some of our staff are now locking Mrs. Jobson in a dark room and screaming and yelling Bible verses at her until she agrees to resubmit to the Divine Authority of my Male Headship. Thank our Angry Sovereign God it worked and she now knows her place once more!

Obama Is UnChristian: We Have Absolute Proof—

May 15, 2019

Exposed Obama’s Musliman ties—-smocking gun:

Barakobama’s .com

Our Research Robot Monkeys stumbled upon Obama’s personal homepage back in 2010 but our signals got jammed by the CIA. We can only bring you this horror now unfortunately. We think the code hidden in the Musliman language is talking about terrorizing Trump with pizza until he’s too Yuge to fit through the White House gate. The author of this plan shared with Obama was Anonymous. This gives us all the more reason to not question it’s authenticity. Our Research Robot Monkeys are still analyzing the rest of this hideous website.

Joel Osteen Threatens Bible-readers with unbiblical toothpaste!

May 14, 2019

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We can’t say we are shocked at this horror as we’ve been apprising you of the hideousness of all these seeker-driven Emergents out there living as though God has a plan and purpose for their lives. In Joel Osteen’s latest attack on Bible-readers he unveiled his apostate unbiblical toothpaste and threatened to brush the teeth of anyone who dared open their Bibles. If he would only let them read their Bible then they would know: The Bible contains all the wisdom man needs for solving all the spiritual struggles, problems, and issues of life.

The Online Discernmentalist Mafia is now offering Bible Studies on how to prevent tooth decay to counteract this worldly assault on our Truth.

Bible verses we’ve found so far that help us in fighting and preventing cavities; gingivitis; tooth decay and other dental infirmities:

  • 0 Bible results for “brush your teeth.”
  • 0 Bible results for “toothpaste.”
  • 0 Bible results for “toothbrush.”
  • 0 Bible results for “mouthwash.”
  • 0 Bible results for “toothache.”
  • 0 Bible results for “gingivitis.”

This proves how little of the Bible Joel Osteen has read. In fact we suspect he uses alcohol-based mouthwash against our Clear Teachings.

 

Beard Shavers are weak and Spineless Truth Warriors!

May 14, 2019

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We need beards now more than ever in these Perilous times to fight the good fight of the Truth War but not just any beards—we must keep our beards Biblically Pure in order to separate ourselves from worldliness and the Spiritual Terrorists who are always attacking our Truth as:

In our current culture, the progressive trends of gender confusion and transgenderism is all the more reason we should uphold the biblical picture of a masculine man by having beards to stand separated from the pagan culture of today.

Truth Warriors without a  beard lack a Backbone and are most likely theologically suspect and part of the weak womanly gutless-grace Girlieman sissified wimpy Evanjellyfish church. Beards are a must for protecting our Truth as all the greatest of the greats Truth Warriors had beards like Spurgeon. In fact we believe beardless weirdos are responsible for sissifying churches today as they are most likely to believe in weak doctrines and like Spurgeon we must take a stand for the Hard Truths of the Bible.

This matter of Christians rejecting the biblical truth of gender distinct (roles) and beards is essentially a form of Gnosticism reviving in these last days. Beards make a man a man as distinct from women.

Strangely, the few churches and Bible colleges today that remain biblical in the teaching of gender distinction of women wearing modesty dresses ignore the topic of a man’s facial hair as part of this doctrine. Every Bible school that I am personally aware of that teaches gender distinction also implement rules that the men must be clean shaven. Where does such thinking come from? Where is the consistency when it is taught women have to dress like women but men can claim “christian liberty” when it comes to shaving off the God given mark of masculinity? Adam Clarke (1762- 1832) commented on Deuteronomy 22:5, “It certainly cannot mean a simple change in dress, whereby the men might pass for women, and vice versa. This would have been impossible in those countries where the dress of the sexes had but little to distinguish it, and where every man wore a long beard. It is, however, a very good general precept understood literally, and applies particularly to those countries where the dress alone distinguishes between the male and the female. The close-shaved gentleman may at any time appear like a woman in the female dress, and the woman appear as a man in the male’s attire. Were this to be tolerated in society, it would produce the greatest confusion.”39)Adam Clarke, Adam Clarke Commentary.

Besides that beards provide extra protection from wetness. Be true to what the bible teaches and you will be saved. Levitcus 19:27 should answer all your remaining questions.

I want you to know, brothers, that the gospel I preached is not something that man made up,

Pastor I. Todyaso

Is Anonymous Commenter (Name Withheld) Secretly Trump in Disguise?

May 13, 2019

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Why else would Anonymous Commenter (Name Withheld) post an article about Trump? Why just why? His friends already know about Trump so there’s no need for him to expose Trump for all the world to see unless he was in actual fact Trump himself. In fact we see zero moral difference between Trump who makes outlandish statements to incite outrage and Anonymous Commenter (Name Withheld) that posted this outlandish anti-Trump article to incite others to be outraged with him. No difference whatsoever. If indeed Anonymous Commenter (Name Withheld) is really Trump himself then we humbly praise him for being our most Biblical and Godly President ever by giving Trump more attention—but if he is really against Trump then we Biblically curse him for unbiblically cussing Trump to give Trump more attention.

Special Discernmentalist Alert—Spurgeon Exposed: Reported Evidence recorded that he slid into False Teaching…

May 11, 2019

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 James Grant wrote: “With the deadly heresies entertained and taught by the Plymouth Brethren, in relation to some of the most momentous of all the doctrines of the Gospel, and to which I have adverted at some length, I feel assured that my readers will not be surprised at any other views, however unscriptural and pernicious they may be, which the Darbyites have embraced and zealously seek to propagate”[20]

Breaking we’re being attacked from the grave by one of our own—Spurgeon (False Convert) who we already revealed as a False Convert wrote a critique* of one of our Truth War Pope’s Holiest of Doctrines.

 Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Pastor of the Metropolitan Tabernacle and contemporary of Darby, published criticism of Darby and Brethrenism.[19] His main criticism was that Darby and the Plymouth Brethren rejected the vicarious purpose of Christ’s obedience as well as imputed righteousness. He viewed these of such importance and so central to the Gospel that it led him to publish this statement about the rest of their belief in the Sword and Trowel.

We thought Spurgeon was more of a measure of Truthiness than that but since we exposed him as a False Convert we can’t say we’re surprised that we now have to add False Teacher to his now growing list of impurities in following our Pure Doctrines properly. Here is a quote from Spurgeon (False Convert/False Teacher)’s attack* on the founding father of our Truth War Pope’s Pure Bible Teaching:

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*- Phil Johnson’s Hugh Jass raptured this attacking critique from his Hugh Jass Spurgeon (False Convert/False Teacher) site as he didn’t want others to know that “self-respecting Calvinist” Spurgeon (False Convert/False Teacher) had impure doctrines for not following the Ways of the Master himself— the Clear Teachings of our Pope of the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH) that: “Every Self-Respecting Calvinist Should Be A Premillennial Dispensationalist Rapture Believer” (in other words follow Darby’s teachings).