Archive for the ‘covert’ Category

SBC under siege by Mothra Priestesses!

May 18, 2019

 

mothsbcattack

Actual photo of this assault by Mothra and her Priests/Priestesses!

Not a day goes by when our Truth is not under attack—this time we’re under siege by Mothra. [H/T]: The moth-eaten SBC and the women who did it. “But I am like a moth to Ephraim, and like dry rot to the house of Judah.” (Hosea 5:12).

Oh the unholy horror of this affront on our Truth—I only pray that Mrs.  Jobson doesn’t catch wind of these secret feminist doctrines or she might rebel against my divinely mandated authority again. I’ve forced Mrs. Jobson to wear a necklace made out of mothballs just in case—sure it smells funny but I told her: “listen woman this is for your own good and it helps protect the purity of our Truth.” Anyways here’s how to spot these secret feminist Mothra priestesses:

They are feminists—don’t let them tell you otherwise. Also we hear they’re not too fond of the smell of mothballs but are attracted to altar flowers. (See this link for proof).

This is the new crop of what I called Christian secret feminists- but they aren’t as secret as they were in 2012. They live a feminist life inside of Christianity but call it ministry. They are openly rebelling now.

One woman who has much to answer for about this new role is Beth Moore. She was the one who broke new ground in the Southern Baptist Convention, a most conservative denomination, in how far a woman could go in attaining celebrity status, living for her career and not for her home, and promoting gender role reversals.

She showed us how to be the main and sustained breadwinner of the family. She showed us that she could preach in a church and teach anyone in the world, uncensured. Mrs Moore, while speaking conservative values cloaked in all the right Christianese, has lived a very feminist life. (We suspect this is because of their super secret psychic cloaking powers).

We only know this because of using our Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology or SKIRT—also they are most likely to predict an oncoming Mothra attack as per our findings. We also have reason to suspect these feminist Mothra priestesses of secret Catholic leanings:

holy_mothra_godzilla

Absolute Proof. We discovered this too while using our Bible-based SKIRT (Secret Cloaking Reversal Technology).

So be warned and beware—thankfully you have lone Discernmentalists in the wilderness like us to warn you of all these threats on our Truth. At this very moment we’re working on Mothra-sized mothballs—to surround our Holy Convention and churches—and prevent these feminist Mothra priestesses unleashing even more Mothra attacks on our churches and Truth.

STATUS QUO JOE!

May 4, 2019

status quoeb

‘They call him Status Quo Joe…she was his Discernmentalist rose lost in the flow…saying sayonara made him cry…but that’s not what they meant when they said goodbye…’

Eric Barger stars as Status Quo Joe—a down on his luck heresy hunter always ready to defend the Status Quo at all costs. Joe gets called to investigate a church outside of town—running into old troubles a long the way—causing him to discernmentalize by misunderstanding that any new way of doing church leads to Roman Catholic mysticism. After seeing couches and candles—Joe becomes increasingly convinced that this Emerging church has apostatized to contemplative meditation and therefore is no longer Bible-believing. Just when Joe is about to call down the wrath of God upon this church—the ghost of John Knox appears accusing Joe of being guilty by association for reciting Apostolic Creeds and also of being a reprobate (as Joe is an Arminianist Nazarene and Arminianism is the Road Back to Rome). Tearfully Joe bids farewell to the Status Quo for now—at least until his Doctrines are considered Pure once again.

—This film features the song Tokyo Joe based on the film of the same name which ironically this movie is not based on.

 

Islam Is Too Liberal

April 20, 2019

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Islam is too liberal for America. They refuse to be Conservative like us. They don’t look like us. They’re poor. They have intellectuals among them. They have beards. Their food is healthy. They refuse to discriminate against non-Islamic Americans. They’ll sell you pork even-though its against their religion. They’re foreigners. Obama was one of them. They refuse to follow biblical American values like Capitalism. They demand Rights. They want welfare handouts like Marxist socialist commies. They want  to impose Shareeka’s Law on us. They have funny names. They’re unreasonable unlike us:

So when Exodus 21:15-17 prescribes that cursing or striking a parent is to be punished by execution, that’s fine with Gary North. “When people curse their parents, it unquestionably is a capital crime,” he writes. “The integrity of the family must be maintained by the threat of death.” Likewise with blasphemy, dealt with summarily in Leviticus 24:16: “And he that blasphemeth the name of the Lord, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him.”

Reconstructionists provide the most enthusiastic constituency for stoning since the Taliban seized Kabul. “Why stoning?” asks North. “There are many reasons. First, the implements of execution are available to everyone at virtually no cost.” Thrift and ubiquity aside, “executions are community projects–not with spectators who watch a professional executioner do `his’ duty, but rather with actual participants.” You might even say that like square dances or quilting bees, they represent the kind of hands-on neighborliness so often missed in this impersonal era. “That modern Christians never consider the possibility of the reintroduction of stoning for capital crimes,” North continues, “indicates how thoroughly humanistic concepts of punishment have influenced the thinking of Christians.”—Gary North (White  American Conservative Protestant Calvinist Christian Tea Party Economist Bible-Believing  Heterosexual Capitalist Male)

This is why we must take a stand against religious freedom for Muslims and refuse to let them immigrate  here.

Rick Warren and Islamists’ Secret Death Star Plans Exposed

May 18, 2011

“We are currently prototyping and testing our global P.E.A.C.E. plan.”—Rick Warren, USA Today

Rick Warren seen secretly plotting with Islamists to inact the terror of his New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Plan across the universe. Part of Rick Warren’s plan is to build a fully operational Death Star with the aid of Islamists.  Warren expects the Death Star to be fully operational by 2013—Warren’s Death Star will force Christians to support his New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Plan or so Discernmentalist Researchmentalist experts say. “Rick Warren Hits Home Run with Announcement of Global Peace Plan to Battle the Giants of Our World.” —Assist News Agency

Warren’s Death Star, which is believed to have the capacity to neutralize the minds of an entire planet, was adopted from designs stolen from George Lucas’ studios and used by Vladimir Putin in his successful takeover of Russia in the late 1900s. It was re-stolen by Rick Warren and in the works using the gargantuan profits made by both Halliburton and Islamists in the Iraq War, now referred to as ‘Liberating Iraq’s Oil.’

Brannon Howse says of Rick Warren’s Global Peace Plan:

Certainly the world is all about solving its problems without the God of the Bible. Yet many professing Christians are rushing to remedy the world’s troubles in ways that are without the support of Scripture, some even in contradiction to what the Scriptures teach. Rick Warren’s global P.E.A.C.E. plan is one of many programs and teachings that, for the most part, cannot be reconciled with God’s prophetic Word. It is Warren’s “50-year plan” to cure global issues such as “pandemic diseases, extreme poverty, illiteracy, corruption, global warming, [and] spiritual emptiness” (see http://www.thebereancall.org). He claims that his social-works agenda developed from his reading of the Gospels–that Jesus gave him the model that was the antidote to the five biggest problems on the planet (see http://www.thebereancall.org). Warren subsequently expanded that model from an exclusive endeavor of Christianity to one requiring the support of all religions.

Rick Warren’s “ill-curing” ecumenical agenda is illogical as well as unbiblical. How can his game plan for remedying “spiritual emptiness” work with those who promote a false spirituality?   We agree which is why there are a number of pastors, ministries and authors throughout the world who are opposing Rick Warren, including Dr. John MacArthur, who exposed Warren in a chapter in his book called Fool’s Gold by Dr. John McArthur. We all must take a stand against Rick Warren‘s secret New Age Purpose-Driven Global Peace Death Star Plans.

Emergents Deconstruct ODMafia’s New Ally

January 7, 2011

After chanting Contemplative babbling for a few minutes—those evil Emergents have deconstructed the site of our newest ally in John MacArthur’s Truth Wars©®™. Their New Age Eastern Mystical voodoo seems to have deconstructed Holywrathministriesinc’s website to the point of deconstructing it all the way off of the Internet. We are quite disappointed as we were looking forward to working with “holywrath.wordpress.com is no longer available” in our humble discernmentalist ministry. The ODMafia and the GOIP combined with”holywrath.wordpress.com is no longer available” would have been a triple combo threat in spreading the True Gospel of  God’s Holy Absolute Sovereign Wrath against all those who disagree with us like Postmodern infidels and refuse to bow down before our Pure Doctrines. What a shame…What a shame!

Shocked: Phil Johnson turns on John MacArthur (but still remains a member at Grace Community Church)

December 22, 2010

In a shocking furor of Discernmentalism, Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass turns against the Ways of the Master and his Overlord Saint John MacArthur. Note Phil Johnson’s attack:  
“He [James White] is (rightly) concerned about people who run too far with the notion of imploring sinners to be reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5) and who imagine that this justifies the ridiculous imagery of God on his knees, begging sinners to have a relationship with Him. Remember: I already said I don’t like that aspect of the video, either.”
JOHN MACARTHUR has said: Yep, we are to beg them, be reconciled to God, as it says, though God were begging through you. That’s exactly the language there. As though God were begging through you, be reconciled to God, go into all the world, preach the gospel to every creature, make disciples of all the nations. We have the responsibility to take the gospel to the ends of the earth to every creature.” Discernmentalists:
“Notice that Saint John MacArthur not only believes that God is begging through us, but he believes that it is “exactly the language there” in 2 Cor. 5:20. He says the same thing about that verse [i.e. “literally, ‘begging them'”] in his article on “Having an Eternally Right Relationship with God,” in Think Biblically!: Recovering a Christian Worldview, ed. John MacArthur (Good News Publishers, 2003), 108. So, MacArthur is not merely saying that he believes God is begging sinners, but he believes the Apostle Paul himself uses that kind of language. If MacArthur is correct, then Phil Johnson has not only called MacArthur’s beliefs and imagery on this subject “ridiculous,” but he has also unwittingly implied that the Apostle Paul’s inspired language is “ridiculous” as well.
Not only that, but he has also, by implication, said that the imagery of Augustine, Hugh Latimer, Samuel Rutherford [Westminster divine], Thomas Manton, Sydrach Simpson [Westminster divine], Robert Harris [Westminster divine], Theophilus Gale, Isaac Ambrose, Stephen Charnock, John Flavel, Richard Sibbes, John Shower, William Gurnall, George Swinnock, Ralph Venning, Daniel Burgess, Samuel Willard, George Whitefield, Jonathan Edwards, Solomon Stoddard, Samuel Davies, Andrew Gray, Ralph Erskine, Charles Spurgeon, Thomas Chalmers, Walter Chantry and Erroll Hulse is also “ridiculous.” I have documented the exact words of all of these men HERE [click].”
Phil should be ashamed for attacking the only True Living Teacher of God’s Word of this century like that. We demand that Phil be disciplined by his church authorities or else face God’s Wrath.

Research Robot Monkeys Fighting Snakes On A Plane

July 8, 2010

Recently we released our Research Robot Monkeys on a plane full of apostate Emergents who were flying on an Arminian Airlines flight bound for Rome. Our Research Robot Monkeys caught those evil Emergents in the act of praying silent New Age heretical Roman Catholic “wordless” Contemplative Centering Prayers. Those Emergents were on their way to sitting on couches with candles while drinking coffee with the Pope and Dalai Lama.

(Arminan Airlines Symbol Courtesy of the Devil. Our Research Robot Monkeys in a fury of Researchmentalism noted that the Double A in the symbol of Arminian Airlines also could stand for Apostate Atheists).

Angered by all that they observed and that those apostates wouldn’t bow down before our Pure Truth Wars Doctrines©®™ our Research Robot Monkeys began stoning all those man-centered Grace-hating dark ignorant man-loving heretical semi-Pelagian reprobated sinners by flinging feces at them. We proudly bring you our Research Robot Monkeys’ adventures on worldly apostate airlines every Mon-Fri. at 6 pm now only on GOIP-ODM TV.

Slice of Laodicea Introduces New Pocket-sized Truth Grinder to Test Market

June 28, 2010

Ingrid formerly of the great and mighty Truth Warrior Blog: Slice of Laodicea (which was secretly raptured off the internet after Ingrid merged with Crosstalk Blogs but not in an evil Emergent way) has finally released her brand new pocket-sized Truth Grinder in handgun form to a public test market. Now you can grind Truth with ease with this rare one of a kind SOL Collectible Pocket-Sized Truth Grinder Magnum.

Now you can turn any quote into a misquote with ease. You can spin any belief other than your own into heresy. You can grind, turn and twist any truth until it is so pulverized that you are able to remake Truth into your own image and the image of your fellow discernmentalists.

Ken Silva gives Ingrid and SOL’s brand spanking new Pocket-Sized Truth Grinder Magnum his personal seal of approval. Here are a few examples of the Pocket-Sized Truth Grinder Magnum in all of it’s Truth-grinding glory from some of our test runs:

Tony Campolo has said: “I have already made the point that we need to have to win people to Jesus Christ, but we must also preach the whole Gospel which not only calls people to love Jesus but to bring His justice into the political and economic arena in which we live.” Clearly that makes him a Communist/Socialist.

Rob Bell attended an event with the Dalai Lama—clearly Rob Bell doesn’t think Jesus is God.

Brian McLaren has said: “The church latched on to that old doctrine of original sin like a dog to a stick, and before you knew it, the whole gospel got twisted around it. Instead of being God’s big message of saving love for the whole world, the gospel became a little bit of secret information on how to solve the pesky legal problem of original sin.” Clearly he is not only a Gnostic but also a Pelagian/Semi-Pelagian.

We wish to weed out all the sinful reprobates and false converts from the Church—however, we are not Donatists/Semi-Donatists—just to make that clear, etc…

Contemplative Commercial Spotted

June 21, 2010

Those evil Emergents are at it again. Our Research Robot Monkeys were doing valid Discernmentalist Researchmentalism on TV when all of a sudden this hidden Contemplative commercial emerged and was spotted by them: 

How dare those Emergents covertly unleash Purpose-Driven Mysticism on our sacred TV screens—we must put a stop to their Secret Covert Contemplative Black-OPs! Why if the Emergent Church has their way pretty soon everyone will be on their way back to Rome by watching TVs in rooms with couches and candles and chanting Hindu-voodoo chants thinking that God will change them through Contemplative Prayer. Oh the horror of such blasphemous notions!

We must take a stand against this just like our affectionate uncle the great Pastor-Teacher-Scholar Ken Silva himself would if he was half as efficient at Discernmentalism as we are.