Archive for the ‘cheese’ Category

Behold: The One World Religion Is Born….

April 23, 2019

819_Abu-01

Breaking Discernmentalists Profits4Me News— The anti-Christ and a terrorist engage in ghey buttsecks against our clear teachings on its icky-ness—-bringing us one step closer to Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven New World Order. As you may have forgotten we’ve already apprised you of the quasi-ecumenical semi-pelagian purpose-driven emergence guru Rick Warren’s plans to take over Christianity and make it Purpose-Driven against our clear teachings that life must be as purposeless and terrible as possible:

In researching this article, I had to read Warren for long periods of time.  This was difficult for me.  I found his material disturbing.  To cleanse my mind from Warren’s continual assaults on my thinking I took breaks to read John MacArthur’s Hard To Believe.  MacArthur got my mind and heart back on the gospel and away from me (where Warren keeps wanting to put it). Let me do the same for my readers.  Listen to MacArthur’s version of what to do with “YOU”:

Jesus set the standard as total self-denial. …Self-hate? What a powerful truth!  . . . Following Jesus is about our being sick of ourselves and our desperation for forgiveness (MacArthur: 10).

MacArthur points us to the clear teachings of Jesus, not some questionable idea that a “life metaphor” determines our destiny.  We need to die to self, not discover self.

Warren would have us believe that something is furry, meow’s, has four legs, and likes to chase mice, but is not a cat. He tells us that his book is not about “you” and then spends over three hundred pages making it about you, over and over. This doesn’t just look like self-help, read like self-help, sound like self-help and feel like self-help, it is self-help and it is about you. That doesn’t help me. I need the gospel to solve my sin problem.  I don’t need Warren aphorisms—and certainly not thousands of them.

And we also apprised you on the anti-Christ and the seeker-sensitive purpose driven New World Order which will bring about a One World Religion which we must apprise you on now:

The document, signed by Pope Francis and the Grand Imam of al-Azhar, Ahmed el-Tayeb, was prepared “with much reflection and prayer”, the Pope said. The one great danger at this moment, he continued, is “destruction, war, hatred between us.”

“If we believers are not able to shake hands, embrace one another, kiss one another, and even pray, our faith will be defeated,” he said. The Pope explained that the document “is born of faith in God who is the Father of all and the Father of peace; it condemns all destruction, all terrorism, from the first terrorism in history, that of Cain.”

There is a lot of language about peace in this document, but it goes way beyond just advocating for peace.

Over and over again, the word “God” is used to simultaneously identify Allah and the God of Christianity.

We must say we are not shocked but still appalled as we have been apprising you on this Emergent seeker-driven new-age agenda for years. Now back to apprising you on how Rick Warren plans to employ his seeker-driven one world religion:

Certainly the world is all about solving its problems without the God of the Bible. Yet many professing Christians are rushing to remedy the world’s troubles in ways that are without the support of Scripture, some even in contradiction to what the Scriptures teach. Rick Warren’s global P.E.A.C.E. plan is one of many programs and teachings that, for the most part, cannot be reconciled with God’s prophetic Word. It is Warren’s “50-year plan” to cure global issues such as “pandemic diseases, extreme poverty, illiteracy, corruption, global warming, [and] spiritual emptiness” (see http://www.thebereancall.org). He claims that his social-works agenda developed from his reading of the Gospels–that Jesus gave him the model that was the antidote to the five biggest problems on the planet (see http://www.thebereancall.org). Warren subsequently expanded that model from an exclusive endeavor of Christianity to one requiring the support of all religions.

This is why we must ever keep apprising you on the heretical new age Emergent purpose-driven peace agenda. Abominable are they who work towards a One World Religion through promoting peace and the brotherhood of man.

Glenn Beck And Jim Walllis Team Up Against Brannon Howse

September 1, 2010

Item #2

Glenn Beck and Jim Wallis Are Both Pushing Social Justice and an Earthly Kingdom By Brannon Howse

Am I on the only one that watched Glenn Beck’s 8-28 rally with red flags going up non-stop? The mixture of Glenn’s Mormon theology wrapped in Christian terms, combined with some of the Christian speakers made me very uncomfortable. The patriotic ecumenicalism was very unbiblical. The dominion theology of some Christians, combined with the “Kingdom of God” theology of Mormonism, combined with all faiths uniting and wrapped in the flag reveals that a one-world religion and a one-world leader will be easily accepted even by people calling themselves Christians.

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We are absolutely stunned by those who would dare attack Brannon Howse and his Absolute Truth. Note our fearless Führer has said of the recent Beck rally:

I believe the 8-27 and 8-28 rallies have greatly furthered the acceptance of ecumenicalism by even those who call themselves evangelicals. The pastors and Christian leaders (including women pastors) standing behind Glenn Beck at the end of the rally with their arms locked together looked silly and not at all like Christian statesmen. I truly believe they sold out. I do not think even one of them realizes how they compromised the true Gospel of Jesus Christ and have damaged their testimony and added massively to the acceptance of pluralism and ecumenicalism. 

Whether they know it or not; those Christians that took part in these two rallies have endorsed an overwhelmingly humanistic message that was wrapped in patriotic and Christians terms. While a few speakers tried to give a true Biblical message; I believe it was so diluted in a soup of unbiblical messages that their presence only gave credibility in the minds of non-believers and non-discerning Christians that the “God talk” was all good.

We Know that our fearless Führer Brannon doesn’t “endorse an overwhelmingly humanistic message that is wrapped in patriotic and Christians terms”—just take his Worldview Test you ignorant reprobates and you’ll see, you all will see. We also Know that Brannon doesn’t “accept pluralism and ecumenicalism.” Why just look at the wide and diverse range of contributors to his site—all united in the common cause of spreading a Right Wing Theocratic agenda. We agree with Brannon that we must all Take A Stand against Jim Wallis and Glenn Beck like our Mighty Führer Brannon himself and the Mighty Truth Warrior Ken Silva are doing—so remember praise to America, Capitalist Materialism, Right Wing Theocracy and to heil our Führer.

Slice of Laodicea Introduces New Pocket-sized Truth Grinder to Test Market

June 28, 2010

Ingrid formerly of the great and mighty Truth Warrior Blog: Slice of Laodicea (which was secretly raptured off the internet after Ingrid merged with Crosstalk Blogs but not in an evil Emergent way) has finally released her brand new pocket-sized Truth Grinder in handgun form to a public test market. Now you can grind Truth with ease with this rare one of a kind SOL Collectible Pocket-Sized Truth Grinder Magnum.

Now you can turn any quote into a misquote with ease. You can spin any belief other than your own into heresy. You can grind, turn and twist any truth until it is so pulverized that you are able to remake Truth into your own image and the image of your fellow discernmentalists.

Ken Silva gives Ingrid and SOL’s brand spanking new Pocket-Sized Truth Grinder Magnum his personal seal of approval. Here are a few examples of the Pocket-Sized Truth Grinder Magnum in all of it’s Truth-grinding glory from some of our test runs:

Tony Campolo has said: “I have already made the point that we need to have to win people to Jesus Christ, but we must also preach the whole Gospel which not only calls people to love Jesus but to bring His justice into the political and economic arena in which we live.” Clearly that makes him a Communist/Socialist.

Rob Bell attended an event with the Dalai Lama—clearly Rob Bell doesn’t think Jesus is God.

Brian McLaren has said: “The church latched on to that old doctrine of original sin like a dog to a stick, and before you knew it, the whole gospel got twisted around it. Instead of being God’s big message of saving love for the whole world, the gospel became a little bit of secret information on how to solve the pesky legal problem of original sin.” Clearly he is not only a Gnostic but also a Pelagian/Semi-Pelagian.

We wish to weed out all the sinful reprobates and false converts from the Church—however, we are not Donatists/Semi-Donatists—just to make that clear, etc…

Worldly Cheese Found

April 3, 2010

Our Research Robot Monkeys are always combing the web and the globe for all things worldly and apostate as they are able to find the devil in anything and everything. Recently a worldly and demon possessed cheese has been brought to their attention:

What makes this cheese so evil and reprobate? Just listen to the name Babybel which sounds too much like Babel which was in Babylon. Oh the rank apostasy—not only that we  believe Babybel cheese is truly Satanic for when our Research Robot Monkeys parsed the letters out  of  Babybel, they discovered it was a secret codeword for Baby Bel. Bel as in BelBa’al or Belial which of course are other names for the devil.

We concur as here are some of the worldly promises which Babybel offers:

  • they suit alternative vegetarian dietary needs (this is nothing  but liberalism).
  • they make Goat cheese (Goats  are symbolic of Satan and the unsaved non-Elect unregenerate reprobates).
  • they promise laughter (Discernmentalists don’t believe in laughter as laughter is too fun and fun leads to rebellion and rebellion is of the devil. We do believe in laughing at the non-Elect however and rejoice in their predestined damnation which brings gory glory to God).
  • it’s feminist (their commercial says that the cheese is “for the laughing girl”).
  • We Know that Emergents probably like it and if it was used in their churches it would cause women to disobey I Corinthians 14:33-35: “33For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. 34Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. 35And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.” (KJV).