Archive for the ‘Bah humbug!’ Category

Eradicate Popish-Pagan Holidays In America!

December 23, 2011

Our Pilgrim forefathers considered Christmas a display of “popish” extravagance inspired by Satan, and not without some justification. Until the 19th century Christmas was usually celebrated by drunken riots. The city council of New York finally voted to pay for a special uniformed Christmas day police force after a particularly deadly Christmas evening riot in 1828. But that didn’t stop a repeat in 1851 when the New York Tribune noted the “…musketry and firecrackers, the bacchanal songs and noisy revels, which for two hours after midnight made sleep not a thing to be dreamed of.”

Typical members of the Whore of Babylon (Romish Arminianist Satan-worshipers) trying to defend their unholy, ungodly and unbiblical Hell-a-day from True Bible-Believers:

We also believe that Christmas celebrates Satan and the birth of the anti-Christ like our Puritan ancestors—and you should too [believe that Christ-mass is the most Satanic time of the year under Ishtar (Easter)] as one of our top key Researchmentalists Sharon M. Whitley always says: “Btw, if you want to see a large, lavish Christmas display in a mall… go to Dubai in the UAE! Many countries that are not Christian celebrate this holiday. That right there should tell Christians it’s not of God!”

Now go out and make this Season a non-Pagan Holy Day by spending more of  your hard-earned cash on us. We require your tithes in a non-gift-giving way—buy our stuff like our new Rapture kit. Capitalism is how you can truly redeem this satanic Popish-Pagan season from idolatrous blasphemous Romish Arminianist filth for Capitalism is what makes America truly Holy and great as Capitalism is Biblical!  And your hard-earned money which you must tithe to us helps keep fine quality Discernmentalist websites like this one up and running.

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Hurricane Irene: God’s Wrath Against Satan’s Holiday

September 19, 2011

Northeastern states are facing a jack-o’-lantern shortage this Helloween after Hurricane Irene destroyed hundreds of pumpkin patches across the region, farmers say. Boo…freaking hoo…God hates Pumpkins…We Know! Every Helloween evil Arminian Papist Islamofascists join together with Pagan Secular Humanist Satanist Evilutionist Darwinianists by setting candles in Pumpkins and lighting them near their couches so they can chant their New Age mystical prayers in an attempt to try to destroy our Holy Doctrines.

Also on that unholy night of heathenism, the unholy alliance of Roman Arminian VaticanIslamists and Athiestic Satanic Enviromentalist Communist Socialist Darwin-worshippers go from door to door yelling “Trick-or-Treat” and kidnap pregnant Bible-Believing Protestants who don’t give them candy and force them at gunpoint to abort their fetuses so that they can drink their blood while committing acts of sodomy and other fornications.

Also they practice their favorite activity of sacrificing goats, pigs, sheeps, cats and Bible-Believing Protestant children on altars built to worship their false Pumpkin god the Jack-o-Lantern while reciting satanic verses from New Age Catholic Bible Perversions in Satan’s tongue—Latin.

This is what Helloween is all about and why Pumpkins are an abomination to God. I attest to you all of this is Absolute Biblically-Correct Factual Truth and not made up by any man as: “I myself have been a forty-five year student of the satanically inspired, centuries-old conspiracy to use government, education, and media to destroy every vestige of Christianity within our society and establish a new world order. Having read at least fifty books on the Illuminati, I am convinced that it exists and can be blamed for many of man’s inhumane actions against his fellow man during the past two hundred years.”

If you don’t believe me just click on this link: Helloween-Satan’s unholyday. Thankfully you have Godly Bible-Believing Online Discernment Ministries like this one that refuse to compromise on our Pure Doctrines. We must all do our part to take a stand in our angry God’s Sovereign Wrath and the Hard Truths of the Bible in defense of our Holy Doctrines. We must expose all and warn all on the evils of Pumpkins. We must leave no hidden evil uncovered.

The Poison Of Anti-Calvinism

August 29, 2011

Anyone who dares to offer any sort of critique of any of the 5 points of Dortian Calvinism is a bigot and a lost deluded ignorant individual. Not only that but to offer up any kind of logical and sound Biblical critique of any of the Doctrines of Dort is to go against God and His Grace. Arminian Semi-Pelagians, Romanists, Papists, Barthians, Emergents and any other Anti-Calvinists belong to the Synagogues of Satan and are part of the Whore of Babylon that is out to destroy the Pure Gospel and God’s Absolute Truth. Anti-Calvinism is a poisonous hate-filled cancer spreading like gangrene by Spiritual Terrorists within and outside of the church.

Also anyone who dares to attack any aspect of Calvinism is unReformed, lacks any True understanding of the Bible and slanders the Reformation. This is why Arminian heretics are not only Semi-Pelagians but also closet Mary-Worshipping Papists. Arminianism and Anti-Calvinism are the roads straight back to the Bondage of Rome because Calvinism not Jesus Christ is the Pure Gospel.

The reason that I bring this up is because of my exposure to the inane nature of so much of the popular anti-Calvinism found in the writings of ignorant heretics like Geisler, Hunt, Vance, and Bryson (repeated without the slightest bit of concern by Coate) and that is the contrast between the biblically-based presentations of Reformed writers and our concern for accuracy in even representing those who disagree with us (and who attack us personally) and the methodology of “anything goes as long as it is opposed to Calvinism” of the other side.

Anti-Calvinists are the most ignorant, arrogant, hateful and disgusting people in the world. All Anti-Calvinists should be locked up for their criminal behavior. I thank God and His Absolute Sovereign Wrath that all Anti-Calvinists were predestined to be tortured for all eternity unless they are able to repent—so  Anti-Calvinists of the world—REPENT—and remember when we tell you that God hates all of youwe are only speaking the TRUTH in Love.

MacArthurites Accuse Jesus Of Sinning

August 18, 2011

After John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) accuses ‘the so-called “young, restless, and Reformed” (YRR) crowd‘ of sinning by drinking alcohol—several MacArthurites cast stones at Jesus for drinking wine. Using John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)’s Discernmentalist illogic MacArthur’s most ardent and most stringent supporters aka the MacArthurites accentuate that anyone who drinks one sip of alcohol is a drunkard—be it beer, hard liquor, wine or even mouthwash. With one accusatory jolt one MacArthurite exclaims: “…it only takes one sip of your legal wine to become a drunk, addicted to the stuff.” The same said MacArthurite in the same comment compares anyone who dares to imbibe alcohol with child abusers. Therefore MacArthurites believe that Jesus was/is a sinner.

Harry Potter Fans Will Be Tortured For Eternity!!!!

July 21, 2011

Harry Potter fans will burn in hell for all eternity, because Harry Potter is as evil as Rick Warren and the KKK combined. If Rick Warren is Satan-incarnate and the KKK are Rick Warren’s gay butt-sex slaves then Harry Potter is their demon infested love-child. There is nothing remotely Godly or Christian about the Harry Potter series. Hello…our sources have reason to believe that Harry Potter was created by Saddam Hussein and Obama Bin Laden in order to destroy the American Church… Hello… the Harry Potter series is full of divination, demons, witch-craft and devil-worship… Duh!!!!

Children would do better to read such Pure, Godly and True Christian literature on our Pure Doctrines such as: The Malleus Maleficarum,  The Death of Death,  A Vindication of the Doctrine that the Sacrifice of the Mass is Idolatry, The Two Babylons, etc.

Easter Is Satanic?

April 9, 2011

It is that time of year again—the time of year that we must tell everyone else why they’re wrong for celebrating Easter. We loathe the very idea of Easter not because of  the very idea of the Easter Bunny but because celebrating the death and Resurrection of our Lord and Savior in the church is blasphemous and idolatrous. I mean why celebrate a biblically based holiday when you can do the complete opposite like celebrating Reformation Day, Thanksgiving and Calvin’s 500th birthday in churches.

Besides Easter is a pagan Catholic Satanist invention:

The Post Reformation pastors and theologians of the day, following the Reformers, abolished Easter, among other things. In June 1647, England Parliament, headed by the Puritans at Westminster, passed legislation abolishing Christmas and other holidays: “Forasmuch as the feast of the nativity of Christ, Easter, Whitsuntide, and other festivals, commonly called holy-days, have been heretofore superstitiously used and observed; be it ordained, that the said feasts, and all other festivals, commonly called holy-days, be no longer observed as festivals; any law, statute, custom, constitution, or canon, to the contrary in anywise not withstanding.” (Daniel Neal, The History of the Puritans (London, 1837; rpt. Minneapolis: Klock , p. 45).

The Puritans “proposed a stricter observance of Sundays, the Lord’s Day, along with banning the immoral celebration of Christmas — as well as Easter, Whitsun and saints’ days.” (Patino, Marta, The Puritan Ban on Christmas). The reason the puritans denied the celebration of any holy days was a biblical foundation to deny the “dressing up” of any other day than what God had specifically prescribed in Lord’s Day worship. “Holy days’ have no such prescription — there is no Scriptural command, approved example, or good and necessary inference, which warrants tying specific acts of redemption to ‘holy’ days of our own choosing.” (Chris Coldwell, The Religious Observance of Christmas and ‘Holy Days’ in American Presbyterianism) (I would encourage the reader to read the entire article that Coldwell has at that link which covers not only Easter, but other holidays.)

In “The Quest for Purity: Dynamics of Puritan Movements” by Walter E. a Van Beek, he states, “Because Easter invariably fell on a Sunday, this was a problem for Puritan preachers who were consistent with their repudiation of of the traditional calendar. The usual solution was to preach a sermon that had no direct connection with Easter.” (Page 77.) How would a congregation today take a non-Easter sermon on Easter Sunday? What would your reaction be, reader?

Brannon Howse Explains True Biblical Masculinity

November 17, 2010

BEHOLD MIGHTILY ALL YE GOD-HATING REPROBATES that

Brannon Howse after learning that we are under attack by Femi-Marxists has stepped up his efforts in defense of the Absolute Biblical Truth of Biblical Manhood, Biblical Womanhood and the 21st century American values of patriarchal families. Note Brannon has said: “Whether people admit it or not, it is evident that there are God-ordained roles for men and for women-each complementing the other. This is what makes a great marriage great-the different and sometimes opposite but complementary gifts, abilities, insight, and interests of each spouse.

What are these  God-ordained roles for men you may ask—why nothing but this: the husband/father  (man) has absolute control over his wife/daughter (woman/girl) period. Women are inferior and are nothing but our property. A woman shouldn’t speak unless they have our permission to speak first. A woman shouldn’t think unless they think exactly like us—how dare any of them try to think for themselves or speak their own mind! A woman’s place is at home barefoot and pregnant and to submit unto us (their male overlords) and to cater to our every whim, beckoning and need. A woman is nothing but an incubator to our seeds (preferbably all male seeds for if you are a true Biblical manly man you will only sire all male heirs). A woman’s place is definitely not in the work force and most certainly not leading a church by preaching the wonderful, beautiful, glorious Biblical Gospel of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath in damning 99% of all humanity to hell before they were even born.

Also remember domestic abuse is the fault of reprobate women for not bowing down and submitting unto our Pure Reformed Doctrines not us Pure Biblical manly men.

Contrary To Popular Opinion…

July 24, 2010

…The Amish And Not Radical Muslims Were Responsible For The 9-11 World Trade Center Terrorist Attacks.

We have Absolute Proof:

Returning back to a previous comment made by one of our Research Robot Monkeys:  

“Calvinists in  the time of the Reformation considered the Anabaptists to be more dangerous and threatening to the Reformation and to true Biblical Christianity than Romanism.”

We agree—oh how evil those Anabaptists were—I mean how dare they not participate in such Christ-Centered and God-exalting activities such as burning people alive at the stake, drowning people, locking people in their church buildings and setting it and them aflame, torturing random people, etc. Now that’s what I call “true Biblical Christianity”—I mean it’s not like the Roman Catholic Church ever did any of that stuff. Oh no they were never as Godly as our Saints. Besides remember these Pure Words from our Truth War Epistles: “Whoever shall now contend that it is unjust to put heretics and blasphemers to death will knowingly and willingly incur their very guilt.”

Just listen to some of the horrible and man-exalting beliefs of the Anabaptists—Balthasar Hubmaier, Concerning Heretics and Those Who Burn Them:

You see there the Anabaptists attacked our Pure Bible-Based Gospel Doctrines that is why they were and still are so vicious and sinister. Clearly the Anabaptists were such monstrous and Godless heathens as:

“These miserable fanatics have no other goal than to put everything into disorder.. They reveal themselves to be the enemies of God and of the human race…” 

In fact because “Calvinists in  the time of the Reformation considered the Anabaptists to be more dangerous and threatening to the Reformation and to true Biblical Christianity than Romanism”—we believe that the Amish and other Anabaptist sects of today are more dangerous and threatening to true Biblical Christianity than Radical Muslims. In fact, We Know that the Amish are truly Spiritual Terrorists since the Amish are pacifists, and we know all pacifists are Amerika-haters/pinko-commies/muslim/atheist/cheese-eaters/junk-heads, so of course they would be responsible for the 9-11 terrorist attacks, the Great Depression, Pearl Harbor and all the other attacks on us, our Pure Doctrines and our Godly Way of Life.

Cat Glasses!

July 11, 2010

Wretched News exercising a test of the Sound Doctrines Detecting Tester of Locating Out of Order New Age Trends noted that anyone caught wearing “Cat Glasses” is suspect theologically. Reasons given are:

  1. Cat Glasses are synonymous with Catholics
  2. Catholics are semi-Pelagian quasi-Universalists
  3. Rob Bell, “Emergent guru” is also a semi-Pelagian quasi-Universalist
  4. Rob Bell wears Cat Glasses
  5. Rob Bell is also a heretic
  6. Therefore anyone caught wearing Cat Glasses is also suspect of being a heretic

Our logic is flawless who can argue against these points. We all must do whatever we can to take a stand and come against those who would dare wear Cat Glasses in our churches. Dr. Truthslayer my colleague in Discernmentalism adds that: “we support this kind of discernmentalism as absolute truth and so should you. We KNOW Rob is an emerging-liberal apostate…so anything we say or do (even if not factual) should still be accepted as truth.”

P. S. “Rob Bell is definitely not like Jesus” so you should never wear, imitate or do anything he does.

Sharin’ Whiplash Goes Contemplative….Alert, Alert!

July 9, 2010

Sound the alarms, we’ve caught Sharin’ Whiplash one of our most faithful expositors of our Pure Doctrines in the midst of supporting New Age Mysticism:

More on Contemplative Centering Prayer:

Centering prayer is a popular method of contemplative prayer or Christian meditation, placing a strong emphasis on interior silence.

Though most authors trace its roots to the contemplative prayer of the Desert Fathers of early Christian monasticism, to the Lectio Divina tradition of Benedictine monasticism, and to works like The Cloud of Unknowing and the writings of St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross, its origins as part of the “Centering Prayer” movement in modern Catholicism and Christianity can be traced to several books published by three Trappist monks of St. Joseph’s Abbey in Spencer, Massachusetts in the 1970s: Fr. William Meninger, Fr. M. Basil Pennington and Abbot Thomas Keating.[1]

Note that Iggy the evil Grace-hating man-loving Emergent Pelagian teaches this stuff so you know it must  be heresy.