Archive for May 14th, 2019

Joel Osteen Threatens Bible-readers with unbiblical toothpaste!

May 14, 2019

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We can’t say we are shocked at this horror as we’ve been apprising you of the hideousness of all these seeker-driven Emergents out there living as though God has a plan and purpose for their lives. In Joel Osteen’s latest attack on Bible-readers he unveiled his apostate unbiblical toothpaste and threatened to brush the teeth of anyone who dared open their Bibles. If he would only let them read their Bible then they would know: The Bible contains all the wisdom man needs for solving all the spiritual struggles, problems, and issues of life.

The Online Discernmentalist Mafia is now offering Bible Studies on how to prevent tooth decay to counteract this worldly assault on our Truth.

Bible verses we’ve found so far that help us in fighting and preventing cavities; gingivitis; tooth decay and other dental infirmities:

  • 0 Bible results for “brush your teeth.”
  • 0 Bible results for “toothpaste.”
  • 0 Bible results for “toothbrush.”
  • 0 Bible results for “mouthwash.”
  • 0 Bible results for “toothache.”
  • 0 Bible results for “gingivitis.”

This proves how little of the Bible Joel Osteen has read. In fact we suspect he uses alcohol-based mouthwash against our Clear Teachings.

 

Beard Shavers are weak and Spineless Truth Warriors!

May 14, 2019

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We need beards now more than ever in these Perilous times to fight the good fight of the Truth War but not just any beards—we must keep our beards Biblically Pure in order to separate ourselves from worldliness and the Spiritual Terrorists who are always attacking our Truth as:

In our current culture, the progressive trends of gender confusion and transgenderism is all the more reason we should uphold the biblical picture of a masculine man by having beards to stand separated from the pagan culture of today.

Truth Warriors without a  beard lack a Backbone and are most likely theologically suspect and part of the weak womanly gutless-grace Girlieman sissified wimpy Evanjellyfish church. Beards are a must for protecting our Truth as all the greatest of the greats Truth Warriors had beards like Spurgeon. In fact we believe beardless weirdos are responsible for sissifying churches today as they are most likely to believe in weak doctrines and like Spurgeon we must take a stand for the Hard Truths of the Bible.

This matter of Christians rejecting the biblical truth of gender distinct (roles) and beards is essentially a form of Gnosticism reviving in these last days. Beards make a man a man as distinct from women.

Strangely, the few churches and Bible colleges today that remain biblical in the teaching of gender distinction of women wearing modesty dresses ignore the topic of a man’s facial hair as part of this doctrine. Every Bible school that I am personally aware of that teaches gender distinction also implement rules that the men must be clean shaven. Where does such thinking come from? Where is the consistency when it is taught women have to dress like women but men can claim “christian liberty” when it comes to shaving off the God given mark of masculinity? Adam Clarke (1762- 1832) commented on Deuteronomy 22:5, “It certainly cannot mean a simple change in dress, whereby the men might pass for women, and vice versa. This would have been impossible in those countries where the dress of the sexes had but little to distinguish it, and where every man wore a long beard. It is, however, a very good general precept understood literally, and applies particularly to those countries where the dress alone distinguishes between the male and the female. The close-shaved gentleman may at any time appear like a woman in the female dress, and the woman appear as a man in the male’s attire. Were this to be tolerated in society, it would produce the greatest confusion.”39)Adam Clarke, Adam Clarke Commentary.

Besides that beards provide extra protection from wetness. Be true to what the bible teaches and you will be saved. Levitcus 19:27 should answer all your remaining questions.

I want you to know, brothers, that the gospel I preached is not something that man made up,

Pastor I. Todyaso