Discernmentalists Declare: “Rob Bell Worse Than Bin Laden!”

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(Newsweek)- Pastorboy aka (Name Withheld by Request) in a Press Conference today stated unequivocally and without reservation nor hesitation that he believes that the Truth War against Spiritual Terrorism has yet to be completed as long as Rob Bell is still alive–for he truly believes Rob Bell is worse than Bin Laden. Pastorboy aka (Name Withheld by Request) proves his case by quoting directly from the sinister and vile arch-heretic Rob Bell himself: “Rob Bell: Osama Bin Laden is in hell? Really? And you feel compelled to tell people this? I have to say that love wins, and this story is so much larger. Remember, Jesus painted blood on the doorposts of the universe and has reconciled ALL things to himself. Imagine the hell he has already experienced living in that one million dollar bunker on the border of Pakistan. Now that he is dead, he will be sure to choose Jesus. I am sure I will see him in the new creation someday.”

How dare anyone believe any one of America’s enemies make it to heaven! After-all, America’s enemies are God’s enemies and God’s enemies are all of America’s enemies. Todd Friel quoting from our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) has noted similar reservations–noting that we should rejoice in the destruction of America’s enemies with a commendable hatred and praise God that America’s enemies will roast in hell and thank our Sovereign God of Wrath for sparing American warlords the same fate by granting them get out of hell free cards.

Pastorboy aka (Name Withheld by Request) would agree and so do we–finally we offer you a stern word of loving wrath from our Final Prophet John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.): “Scripture presents a terrifyingly clear case for a literal hell. It’s a place where God punishes unbelievers for all eternity. Contrary to what some so-called evangelicals are teaching, hell is not a state of mind or a hard life on this earth. Your state of mind can change; your circumstances can improve. Hell never changes, never improves. Hell is not chastisement; it’s everlasting, insufferable punishment at the hands of an angry God.” This is why Rob Bell is worse than Bin Laden for even Bin Laden believed in a literal and “real place” called hell–praise our loving God of Sovereign Wrath to His Glory!

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3 Responses to “Discernmentalists Declare: “Rob Bell Worse Than Bin Laden!””

  1. Bo Eberle Says:

    Pastor boy is Minnesota native John Chisham, for the record

  2. Bo Eberle Says:

    His Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/pastorboy
    in case anyone would like to help him along…

  3. guy4jesuschrist Says:

    I noticed that you put a “quote” by Rob Bell in part of this post. I clicked on the link and found out that this quote isn’t factual, but satirical in nature. I do not ascribe to any sort of universalist doctrine, but I would like the original sources of any quotes or what actual quotes by Rob Bell inspired these above satirical “quotes”. I would like to share them with a few friends of mine, but would like factual quotes, not satirical ones. Thanks!

    I believe as followers of Christ, we should make clear where statements of Truth, or statements that speak out against Truth are referenced. This can help in sharing the Gospel with those who might believe some of the heretical statements that are made by prominent “followers” of Jesus. God is a God of peace, and not of confusion (1 Cor. 14:33), so let us strive to seek guidance from Him in these and all issues, so that others may praise His name.

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