The Emergent Church Agenda Exposed

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New evil Emergent plot uncovered: “Drink Dr. Pepper Cherry believe Love Wins!” We are quite astounded at the lengths these Purpose-Driven Seeker-Sensitive Emergent types will go to spread their evil Universalist message. We are angered that these Emergents dare to leave their Emergent Villages and treat the world as their Cohorts. How dare they chant their Contemplative chants on our airwaves… Let alone in public! Can’t they keep their mystical Hindu Voodoo to themselves and go back to their Emergent Villages and smoke one of Shaine Claiborne’s doobies? But no… they’ve got to go and ruin everything as usual with their Subliminal Contemplative Centering Messages! Actual quote from Rob Bell: “Hahaha…if I use the same colors on the book cover of Love Wins as Dr. Pepper Cherry, people will have to believe my Universalist message that Love Wins.” Ken Silva who isn’t half the Discernmentalist that we are—failed to catch this. Thankfully though we have warned you at just how crafty the Emergent Church’s secret Agenda is!

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