Archive for June 30th, 2010

Consistent ODM Calvinism

June 30, 2010

Not only do we believe in all 9 points of ODM Calvinism but we are also Consistent ODM Calvinists as well—we like to read our Calvinist eisegesis exegesis into out of all manners of Bible verses. Here are just a few examples utilizing our Absolute Biblical Certainty and Calvinist-based mathematics:

  • The Creation of the World In the beginning God created the heavens and the regenerate predestined Elect. Then God said, “Let us make the regenerate and Elect of man [8] in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over the select few of the Chosen and over some creeping things that creeps in the church.” So God created only regenerate and predestined Elect man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and purely male he created them. And God blessed them with His Absolute Sovereign Wrath. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the church and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over some of the living things that move in the church.” And God said, “Behold, I have given you a select few of the plant yielding seed that is on the face of the chosen patches of dirt, and a select few trees with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to the chosen few beasts that were predestined and to some of the birds of the heavens and to the select few things that creeps on the chosen patches of dirt, only a select few things that have the breath of life, I have given some of the green plants for food.” And it was so. And God saw the select chosen few things that he had made, and behold, it was very wretched. (ODM-ESV).

How can unregenerate reprobated man be created in the image of God since they are of their father the devil and like him were created for the sole purpose to be destroyed out of God’s sheer good pleasure of course?

  • The Righteousness of God Through Faith But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it— the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for the select chosen few who were predestined to believe. For there is no distinction: for only some have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a penal substitute by his blood, to be received by an absolute divine and unknowable decree of predestined election. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the ones who were predestined to have faith in Jesus. (ODM-ESV).

Thankfully we are of the select few who were chosen through regeneration to be predestined to eternally secured Elect salvation so therefore we are sinless and inerrant—and not of the select few who have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. For how can regenerate man ever sin?

What Manner Of Calvinists Are You?

June 30, 2010

Dear Dr. Jobson,

I am a new follower of your site and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia… from what I’ve viewed so far I’m impressed but have a few quick questions for you:

Could you please tell me your standing on the 5 points of Calvinism? Do you believe in TULIP? The “Divines of Dort?” Just what manner of Calvinists are you and the rest of the crew of your fine d-i-s-s-e-r-n-m-e-n-t ministries?

Signed,

A concerned reader—I. R. Monkey

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Dear I. R. Monkey,

We assure you by our eternally secured elect salvation that we are among the highest pedigree of Calvinists. We know that we are among the Regenerate Predestined Elect for whom God chose from the foundation of the world to send His son for and to limit His atonement for—all out of His good pleasure of course and all for His glory. You see our God the True God is a jealous and vain God who needs and doesn’t need humans at the same time—but He doesn’t need just any humans—He needs Divine Truth Warrior humans. He doesn’t need Arminians, Emergents and Catholics, etc. however.

This was why we were unable to resist His great wrath rape hate grace in electing us as Truth Warriors. We not only believe in the 5 points of Calvinism that John MacArthur and Ken Silva and all our other fellow ODMs hold to but we also believe in the 4 extra points of Calvinism that all ODMs hold in common as well though we are still 1 point behind Sharin’ Whiplash. We also believe in all 5 Solas alone so you see we are above and beyond your average Calvinist for we are True Bible-Based Calvinists. We only hope that you will one day come to unconditionally accept our Pure Doctrines and teachings as Absolute Truth. We also hope through your total inability that you unconditionally accept our conditions of repentance and belief lest you be among the unregenerate reprobated non-elect sinners chosen to bear God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath in the “real place” that is hell. We hope that clears up where we stand.

In the wide mercy of His loving wrath,

Dr. Don Jobson