Saint John MacArthur’s Certs

by

macarthurabsolute certs

Do you need to be Absolutely Certain that you are truly of  the Regenerate Elect? Are those evil Arminians and Emergents trying to confuse you of the Absolute Truth? Never fear we here at GOIP Food Labs have come up with the Absolutely Perfect product to suit your Discernmentalist needs–introducing Saint John MacArthur made Absolute Certs: for those times when you need to stay fresh in  your Discern-ments! These Discern-ments are flavored with Absolute Truth in every piece and are guaranteed to protect your doctrines from the impurities of those evil Arminians and Emergents and ensure you that you are truly of  the Regenerate Elect complete with Saint John MacArthur’s seal of approval. You’ll also be Absolutely Certain  of the Absolute Truth of everything.

Side Effects may include but are not limited to: Judgmentalism, a Purposeless Driven Life, Reformed thinking, loss of friends, vomiting, arrogance, hate, a black and white worldview, heartburn, gall, the urge to vote for Ultra-Right-Wing Conservative Christian Republicans, Fundamentalism, bibliolatry, Calvinolatry and Spurgeon-worship—-a superiority complex, legalism, constipation, upset stomach, indigestion, diarrhea, etc.

Advertisements

Tags: ,

6 Responses to “Saint John MacArthur’s Certs”

  1. Arthur McJohn Says:

    I love it as much as I love Calvin Crunch, Christifascist Flakes, Judgefinger, etc etc

  2. optorbthist Says:

    Hey there all i know you’ve all probably heard this already but check out google for all the scandal thats been going around about her lately
    basically she first claimed that the tape was for a boyfrind in highschool at which time she begged him to tell the media she was 17 at the time. This morning on tmz they talked about a voice interview where the man who had the video insists that she was 20 at the time.

    You can check out the newest tmz story and pictures here. http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/carrie_prejean_san_diego_romp#55556

    So i know theres a lot of bullshit going around on the internet but i finally found the actual video. SO CHECK IT OUT SHES HOT AS HELL but all in all just another homeade sex video. The link is http://tinyurl.com/ye95zu7

  3. dangispUndica Says:

    Hey there everyone i was just introduceing myself here im a first time visitor who hopes to become a daily reader!

  4. Inerymype Says:

    Hey everyone just wanna say hello and introduce myself!

  5. dangispUndica Says:

    Why hello associated forum people! I well-grounded wanted to set up myself here as this looks like a dialect right enchanting forum! I myself am engrossing in things like writeing and computer shape so if anyoune needs facilitate forgive me know! I also Suffer from Sciatica so if you aslo include this condition cause to me recognize so we can share some stretches!

  6. Typepneurgy Says:

    Tila Tequila, never known for her shyness or sobriety or an excess of clothing, had a naked, ranting meltdown Wednesday night on her UStream channel, and today the video has been taken down. And Tila’s lawyer told TMZ.com today that he’s trying to get help for the star of MTV’s “A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila.”

    Hey there everyone aparently the star Tila Tequila went crazy after her boyfriend who is aparently a football star assulted her and yelled at her for being bisexual. She then got naked and went on her UStream and chatted for a few hours about how he was a drug addict and beat her. You can download the whole session with chat included right here http://tinyurl.com/yzjyx5x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: