If you don’t believe in war, you don’t believe in Jesus—why, because Saint John MacArthur said so:
OK everyone listen up. I am going to go over a subject that many liberals may not want to know. That’s right, God is supporting our troops. This is not the Alliance of the Willing, nor is it an American war, this war is the will of God. We are just mere pawns in God’s master plan for happiness for all humanity.
Let’s start off with the simple fact Muslims are going to hell. I didn’t say ALL Muslims are going to hell, but let’s say 99.99% will know the heat of Dante’s inferno. Only accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and savior can one spend eternity with God. So what are the odds that any self respecting Muslim will accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I am guessing .01%, but suffice it to say, that hell is LOADED with Muslims.
Anyways point made. If they are going to spend eternity in hell, do they really deserve all that oil? Who made the oil anyhow? God did, and these guys can’t even recognize the sacrifices his Son made for all of humanity. Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. Talk about ingrates. Just thinking about it makes my blood boil.
It is clear to God and I that these ingrates don’t deserve this oil any more. There I said it. It’s not about Weapons of Mass Destruction, taking down an evil dictator, or creating a beacon for democracy, it’s about OIL. God created a decoy, so we can get into this vile country, so we can have their oil. God wants us to have their oil. We are going to heaven and they are going to hell.
But liberals want to ignore the immense glory of Lord Almighty. His mighty hand is guiding our troops to victory, but God is quite busy fighting the sand monkeys. He needs our help by fighting the liberals. So here’s the next piece of news. God hates liberals as much as I do. Liberals may say they have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, but God knows they are lying. Hell if I can tell they are lying, don’t you think that God can as well?
Speaking of which, it is hard enough putting up with liberals here on earth. Do you really think that God would make us suffer with liberals in heaven. Hell no. Not only are there no towel heads in heaven, there aren’t very many liberals either. Of course, God lets a few liberals into heaven each year. We need someone to clean the toilets.
So I want to personally thank God for guiding our troops, and also for the best Christmas present of all. Iraq’s oil. Yea, God! We get a bunch of oil for killing a bunch of people that were going to hell anyhow. That’s what I call a win – win.
29 12 2007—- # of heretics we hope our weblogs slay with their blog ammo of Absolute Truthiness.