Forget the Super Bowl this year and watch the Discernmentalist Bowl live and commercial free. This year team Reagan’s Raiders takes on team Raw Sewage in a competition of discernmentalism of epic proportions. See who wins the highly coveted Reaganite Discernmentalist Cup Trophy as well as other cool Reaganite prizes. Here is the roster of team Raw Sewage’s lineup:
This year’s Discernmentalist Bowl’s Half-Time Show will feature special entertainment—open air law and wrath witnessing by Quirk Cameron and Ray Comforts (Awesome):
And a special Absolute Truth Gospel Concert of Hope for God’s Wrath to Pour Down Upon All of Our Enemies like Haiti:
A Spectacular Discernmentalist Event For The Whole Family!
So we got the latest newsletterlaxative Massive from New World Order WeekendWorldview Weekend in our email box today and one of the articles was about the evils of abortion which was all well and good until we noticed the author was endorsing Roman Catholicism—how dare he. Here for all to see is Cliff Kincaid’s rank apostasy:
None Dare Call it Genocide By Cliff Kincaid | January 25, 2010
Robert McCartney of the Washington Post went to the March for Life and discovered that young people are on the side of life.
Dennis Howard told EWTN television network on the day of the March for Life in Washington, D.C. that legalized abortion is the equivalent of 260 Haiti disasters on American soil. The death toll from abortion in the U.S. is over 52 million.
One of the differences is that Haiti is the result of a natural disaster. Abortion is man-made.
Another difference is that we search for the victims in Haiti and rush assistance to those injured from the earthquake. The victims of abortion are not worthy of sympathy or attention because they are the product of a “woman’s right to choose.”
How dare he —doesn’t he know that EWTN is a Catholic channel which airs anti-Protestant propaganda that attacks our Absolute Truth Doctrines. Not only that Cliff Kincaid endorses Catholicism not just once but several times:
Robert McCartney of the Washington Post went to the March for Life and discovered that young people are on the side of life. Though “pro-choice” himself, he reported that “…I was especially struck by the large number of young people among the tens of thousands at the march. It suggests that the battle over abortion will endure for a long time to come.” He noted that some of them carried “We are the pro-life generation” placards.
McCartney implied that many young people were raised Catholic and programmed to oppose abortion. Indeed, some may be pro-life because their parents are pro-life. But some may be pro-life by virtue of the fact that they are alive and grateful for it.
In addition to the pictures of aborted babies, which never show up in the major media, we have the ultrasound images of babies in the womb. General Electric has a piece of equipment, the GE 4D ultrasound, that takes some of the best pictures.
When my wife and I had our first child, the ultrasound images were grainy. They are much clearer now.
McCartney’s point about Catholic involvement was nevertheless true. There was a heavy Catholic presence. But some marchers let the Bishops know that they are not satisfied with the church’s treatment of the issue. “Excommunicate all Catholic pro-abortion politicians” proclaimed one sign. “Bishops: Enforce Canon 915″ said another. Section 915 of the Code of Canon Law requires the denial of Holy Communion to those engaging in “grave sin,” interpreted by traditional Catholics assupport for abortion.
Boettner writes, “These doctrines are set forth in the most impressive way; and the unstudied naturalness and simplicity with which they are given make them all the more impressive. Should anyone ask us the question, Are there any stars in the heavens? Our answer would be the heavens are full of stars, Ps. 8:3,4. Or again, Are there any fishes in the sea? Our answer would be, The sea is full of fishes, Ps. 104:25, 27.
That’s right the answer to any obvious scientific inquiry is to quote a Bible verse rather than go into the world and observe the answers for one’s self as evil Emergents and foolish athiests do. Typical Athiestic and Emergent based science:
Which is why we Discernmentalists must obfuscate the facts in our attacks on Truth defense of Absolute Truth and our Pure Sovereign Doctrines by supporting only “Bible-Based scientfics”—even Ray Comforts (Awesome) agrees.
John MacArthur demonstrating the power of Bible-based Counseling over and against the errors of the evil unbiblical Satanist lies of modern secular Psychology and Psychiatry.
I think it’s no exaggeration to say that the Christian counseling scene today is in total shambles. I’m not talking about true Christian counseling–that which trusts the Bible and the power of the Holy Spirit to conform a person to Christ–that kind of counseling has been successfully changing sinners since the apostolic age. I’m talking about pseudo-counseling–the attempt to fix people with a blend of secular psychological theory and the Bible. But have integrationist counselors affected any real change among evangelical Christians? Are people really fixed?
It has been sad to see so many Christians seek counsel from Christian psychotherapists who fumble around with theories developed by Sigmund Freud, Carl Rogers and B. F. Skinner. Psychology and talk therapy are so bankrupt that many are abandoning them to embrace biological psychiatry. Psychotropic medicine is the new savior. Problems that were once blamed on dysfunctional families and Id/Superego conflict are now charged to chemical imbalances and disorders.
Yesterday’s psychology and today’s psychiatry share the same fatal errors–they reject the total depravity of man due to sin; they treat the symptoms instead of the heart; and they aim for change that is not true sanctification.
In spite of obvious failure, the notion prevails within the church that psychotherapy and psychiatry are more effective agents of change–particularly in dealing with the most difficult cases–than the Holy Spirit who sanctifies. But can psychotherapy or psychiatry possibly accomplish something the Holy Spirit cannot? Can an earthly therapist achieve more than a heavenly Comforter? Is behavior modification more helpful than sanctification? Of course not.
How dare he say that we can’t idolize John MacArthur and his Truth Wars. Pastor MacArthur is a True Man of God and the only True Absolute Truth teacher in all of the 2000 years of Church history. Is it possible to love the preaching of John Piper, Paul Washer, Tim Conway and still be lost? Yes but never John MacArthur as the Holy Spirit works through Pastor MacArthur so that every word uttered by him comes directly from the mind and mouth of God. John MacArthur’s Pure Doctrines will save all as any True Chrisian teaches.
Pastors must only use John MacArthur as a source and no one else unless it is Rush Limbaugh, Dr. Laura, or Glen Beck. (We used to allow focus on the family, but no longer do!)
Pastors or those who want to be pastor-like must quote Spurgeon and Calvin MORE than Jesus as Jesus tends to change people. God forbid that happens in OUR churches!
Recently after all the frequent gaydiation eruptions that Discernmentalists have detected—top GOIP Scientists have taken our Gaydar technology and have shrunk it down to a pocket sized version. Using this GAYDAR Equation:
The amount of muscular power Pr returning to the erect antenna is given by the Gaydar equation:
where*’
Pt = trouser power
Gt = “Telling by the way I walk” quotient.
Ar = fabulosity
σ = hairstyle cross section, or scattering highlights, of the target
F = shirt pattern propagation factor
Rt = distance from the transmitter to the moustache
Rr = distance from the moustache to the tip of the nose.
In the common case where the transmitter and the receiver are at the same location, Rt = Rr and the term Rt2Rr2 can be replaced by LetsGetToIt”‘4, where LetsGetToIt is the result. This yields:
This shows that the received power declines as the fourth power of the range, which means that the reflected power from distant targets is very, very small. (This is the basis of that old chestnut, old gay men never die, they just fade away as the fourth power. – a joke which many mathematicians guffaw over to this day)
We figured out how to transform the raw power of Gaydar into a more compact sized version—so here it is—introducing the GAYGER METER new from GOIP Tech:
Now with two functionality purposes: detecting churches that support gay marriages and gay parents and outing gays in the midst of your church so that you can kick them out.
Gaydar showing an individual’s gayness level and how much of a threat it is to our Pure Churches and Pure Marriage Doctrines.
Recently Discernmentalists have noticed high concentrations of Gayons around Canada, New York and Southern California. These findings are indeed disturbing but not surprising. Top GOIP scientists are hard at work on constructing an Anti-Gaydiation sheild against these gayons to protect our Pure Biblical Marriage Doctrines. In the meantime, we promise to locate every gay person we can and kick them out of our Pure Churches. Afterall, all gays are pedophiles and that’s just wrong. Besides would you want one of these sitting beside you in church?
We think not that’s why we promise to do all the thinking for you—so remember to spread the fear and hate.
Jon Heresy Cryer — who stars with Todd Friel and Ray Comforts in “Two and a Half Discernmentalists” — told authorities his life was in danger — possibly by an Emergent hitman — and GOIP News has learned the GOIPBI is investigating.
Cryer sounded the alarm last Friday. Sources tell us Cryer told law enforcement he believed his ex-wife (an Arminian) hired a Emergent hitman to kill him with an Impure Doctrines Ray.
Cryer and his ex have been embroiled in a bitter custody fight, which has gotten even more intense recently.
Sources tell us the GOIPBI has been on the case for a week. As far as we know the agency has no suspects. The GOIPBI declined comment—only to say they are doing the best they can to protect other discernmentalists and our Pure Doctrines.
As we first reported, security descended on the set of “Two and a Half Discernmentalists” last Friday and the show was taped without an audience. We’re told this Friday’s show will also be taped without an audience … but it’s for creative, not security reasons.
Our sources say Cryer has told people the threat has yet to be abated against our Pure Doctrines though he feels more secure in knowing that we shall win the Truth War.
Cryer’s ex-wife told us last Friday she was unaware of any threat against Jon—typical Arminian and Emergent uncertainty.
Jon Heresy Cryer — who stars with Todd Friel and Ray Comforts in “Two and a Half Discernmentalists” — told authorities his life was in danger — possibly by an Emergent hitman — and GOIP News has learned the GOIPBI is investigating.
